Life as the father of a 2 1/2 month old has been pretty busy....so much so that I am now averaging a new post a month as compared to two or three a week before Xavier's arrival.
I've got to say that coming home after a day at work is a pure treat. Its amazing how a baby can make you feel so excited about getting home and walking in the door...I'm pretty sure the feeling isn't mutual however, as Xavier often has an empty look on his face and can't manage a smile most times...'nice to see you too DAD' he must be thinking!
We bought a four door car last week and immediatly we have noticed how much easier it is to get the little guy in and out of the car. Having to juggle a 5kg baby with the front seat down in a two door car was getting tough!
Sam's top list of baby necessity's (after close to 3 months of being a father)
- Infacol - give a squirt of this white liquid to your baby before he/she feeds to reduce the impact of colic. Settles 'em down a treat...if problems persist add a drop of Chivas Regal 18 year old to your baby's dummy....JUST KIDDING PEOPLE..(I can see some of you looking up DOC's phone number right now!)
- Baby Wipes - if you baby is on the formula as much as your partner's boob, you are gonna need a truckload of these...I need shares in Johnson and Johnson asap as we have been going through these like nothing else. How else are you going to get the caramel coloured plastacine from between your baby's legs. 'NASTY' is made a little bit more bearable with a fistful of baby wipes.
- A cast iron stomach: following on from the previous item. It is freekin' unbelievable how such a beautiful, angelic child can summon the pure spirit of evil when creating waste products that will wilt even the the most disease resistant weeds.
-Grandparents a phone call away: Kos and I have actually had some us time and have headed off to the Gym with Grandman and Gramps looking after their grandson. They love the time with bub and we love the break...a win win situation!
Sam's top tips for Mum's
-Glass of wine: Watching wifey have half a glass of vina after putting bub down puts a relaxed smile on her face and can make a tough day all the more bearable.
-Mum and Bub sessions at the movies. For $8 every Wednesday wifey gets to see a movie with her close knit circle of friends in a baby friendly environment.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Random thoughts from a new father
Well it has been a while indeed since I last logged in to write about being a dad - almost a month! Life has of course, been very busy, but we wouldn't exchange being parents for anything in the world. Xavier is, so far, a great boy. All he seems to do is sleep and eat - life is pretty good for him!
About once a week or so he gets an upset tummy/colicy(sp?)/wind and is unsettled. Those nights are tough as he keeps Kos up for most of the night and I wake up in the morning feeling as though I had too many tequilas the night before. We can't complain though he is a great 99% of the time.
One aspect which has changed is the amount of time Kos and I have for each other. Other fathers and mothers would know exactly what I am talking about. It is something which I have to constantly be aware of, as it is very easy to get home from work, focus on the baby, dinner and then we both head off to bed, too tired to connect to each other. On Thursday night we had a night sans X and it was great to share some sushi (Kos hadn't had any for about 10 months as she was off the raw fish during the pregnancy) and conversation much like what we had enjoyed before Xavier joined us. I think it is extremely important to still take time for each other. Yes Xavier is important to us, but if either of us are too tired for each other I can just imagine small issues and disagreements exploding into something bigger. Blokes: getting some alone time with your lady is an immensely important aspect and I can't recommend it enough.
Well just a short update to get me started. Not too many dilemmas to report on and thank goodness for that after the pregnancy Kos endured. Who can forget the 'perfect wingman', 'the bump gets bumped' and Kos' month in Hospital. Oh hey, that reminds me, regardless of how much I bitch and moan about the cost of private health insurance and its relative value I can proudly report that Kos' whole stay at the Mater cost us an excess of $250 - that includes only the bed, meals etc - but we recently got a letter from HCF stating that close to $16,000 in benefits for the stay had been paid on our behalf...perhaps it would cheaper to stay at the Hilton, but I don't think the Hilton is listed as a registered hospital with HCF. As Kos was in hospital for a month it was well worth her having her own room.
About once a week or so he gets an upset tummy/colicy(sp?)/wind and is unsettled. Those nights are tough as he keeps Kos up for most of the night and I wake up in the morning feeling as though I had too many tequilas the night before. We can't complain though he is a great 99% of the time.
One aspect which has changed is the amount of time Kos and I have for each other. Other fathers and mothers would know exactly what I am talking about. It is something which I have to constantly be aware of, as it is very easy to get home from work, focus on the baby, dinner and then we both head off to bed, too tired to connect to each other. On Thursday night we had a night sans X and it was great to share some sushi (Kos hadn't had any for about 10 months as she was off the raw fish during the pregnancy) and conversation much like what we had enjoyed before Xavier joined us. I think it is extremely important to still take time for each other. Yes Xavier is important to us, but if either of us are too tired for each other I can just imagine small issues and disagreements exploding into something bigger. Blokes: getting some alone time with your lady is an immensely important aspect and I can't recommend it enough.
Well just a short update to get me started. Not too many dilemmas to report on and thank goodness for that after the pregnancy Kos endured. Who can forget the 'perfect wingman', 'the bump gets bumped' and Kos' month in Hospital. Oh hey, that reminds me, regardless of how much I bitch and moan about the cost of private health insurance and its relative value I can proudly report that Kos' whole stay at the Mater cost us an excess of $250 - that includes only the bed, meals etc - but we recently got a letter from HCF stating that close to $16,000 in benefits for the stay had been paid on our behalf...perhaps it would cheaper to stay at the Hilton, but I don't think the Hilton is listed as a registered hospital with HCF. As Kos was in hospital for a month it was well worth her having her own room.
Saturday, April 25, 2009
There's no place like home
Well after a week and a bit of being homeless, we have all finally settled into home again. Just before Xavier was born, we had organised for a new kitchen to be put in, so with the assistance of a good mate, we destroyed the old kitchen awaiting the new. All this happened whilst Kos was in hospital so it didn't affect her too much. A bloke can live off a few essential items to survive. Give a bloke some running water, a spear and a toilet and survival is guaranteed. Things got complicated when Xavier was released and we could bring him home. We spent a night at home, but found that with all the dust and construction that was about to begin that we ought to stay elsewhere. We spent a few nights at my parent's place, a few nights at Kos' parent's place, and then a few more nights at my parent's place until the kitchen was installed.
Thank God the Kitchen got installed. There is still a bit of work to do, but the plumbing is done, electrical work is done, and we have a new kitchen. After licing out of bags for just over a week and carrying around a few extra bags of Xavier's stuff, it is a relief to be home...kind of like that feeling you get flying back into Sydney after a disasterous adventure holiday. What a relief. I have never felt more relaxed, even Xavier is sleeping better. That's not to say both sets of parents weren't accomodating, but moving around, sleeping in different beds and drving back and forth was unsettling. There truly is no place like home!
FEES:
YOU gotta love this! I had paid all our bills relating to the caeser...thought I was in the clear...but no....Yesterday I received a bill in the mail from The Perfect Wingman's assistant for $500!!!! C'mon mate, I 'm sure all he did was pass you the instruments...I would have done it were it not for nearly fainting upon seeing the needles and knives!
Poll: Well the poll is a little redundant now. Congrats go to all readers who accurately picked early April as the birth date.
Going Out - now I know what it feels like to be in a wheelchair! (well not quite but I can empathise!) We all went out on Thursday night for dad's birthday to a restaurant on the second level of a shopping arcade where there were no elevators. The stairs it had to be. This was the first time Kos and I were navigating a set of stairs with our pram. Despite a few moments when young Xavier could have flown a couple of metres, we made it to the top. An episode that will no doubt occur again.
Cheers
Thank God the Kitchen got installed. There is still a bit of work to do, but the plumbing is done, electrical work is done, and we have a new kitchen. After licing out of bags for just over a week and carrying around a few extra bags of Xavier's stuff, it is a relief to be home...kind of like that feeling you get flying back into Sydney after a disasterous adventure holiday. What a relief. I have never felt more relaxed, even Xavier is sleeping better. That's not to say both sets of parents weren't accomodating, but moving around, sleeping in different beds and drving back and forth was unsettling. There truly is no place like home!
FEES:
YOU gotta love this! I had paid all our bills relating to the caeser...thought I was in the clear...but no....Yesterday I received a bill in the mail from The Perfect Wingman's assistant for $500!!!! C'mon mate, I 'm sure all he did was pass you the instruments...I would have done it were it not for nearly fainting upon seeing the needles and knives!
Poll: Well the poll is a little redundant now. Congrats go to all readers who accurately picked early April as the birth date.
Going Out - now I know what it feels like to be in a wheelchair! (well not quite but I can empathise!) We all went out on Thursday night for dad's birthday to a restaurant on the second level of a shopping arcade where there were no elevators. The stairs it had to be. This was the first time Kos and I were navigating a set of stairs with our pram. Despite a few moments when young Xavier could have flown a couple of metres, we made it to the top. An episode that will no doubt occur again.
Cheers
Saturday, April 18, 2009
Sleep
Sleep. Xavier is getting plenty of it! I'm getting some, but Kos is getting a lot less.
The life of a baby! All this bloke does is sleep, suck on boobies and capture the attention of women...if only men could have it so easy later in life!
Despite this easy start to life, Xavier is going well. He came home last Friday, but it wasn't for long as we are getting a new kitchen put in (I'll be starting a new blog soon called 'House Dilemmas') so we have stayed at my parent's place and are now staying at Kos' parent's place. What little sleep you do get is not that great when it is in new bed, but we appreciate being able to fall back on the families as we have. The kitchen is being delivered on Tuesday and installed on Wednesday. Hurray.!But I'll breathe a sigh of relief on Wednesday evening once it is all complete. Fingers crossed until then!
It is interesting, before Xavier came along, I hesitated when family or friends asked if I would like to hold their baby. I would run a hundred miles if anyone asked me to mind their kids or babysit, but with Xavier, I want to pick him up and hold him all the time. There is no baby aversion with your own I guess. He is starting to open his eyes a lot more and is making alot more noise. He is an abosolute time waster as you can spend hours simply looking at him and waiting for a change in expression or an unexpected curling smile.
It is amazing to thing that next Wednesday he will be three weeks old....time flies when you are having fun. The day before his third week birthday, his cousin will join him, ensuring fun times at Kos' parents place from then...all the more reason to make sure that the Kitchen gets put in on Wednesday!
The life of a baby! All this bloke does is sleep, suck on boobies and capture the attention of women...if only men could have it so easy later in life!
Despite this easy start to life, Xavier is going well. He came home last Friday, but it wasn't for long as we are getting a new kitchen put in (I'll be starting a new blog soon called 'House Dilemmas') so we have stayed at my parent's place and are now staying at Kos' parent's place. What little sleep you do get is not that great when it is in new bed, but we appreciate being able to fall back on the families as we have. The kitchen is being delivered on Tuesday and installed on Wednesday. Hurray.!But I'll breathe a sigh of relief on Wednesday evening once it is all complete. Fingers crossed until then!
It is interesting, before Xavier came along, I hesitated when family or friends asked if I would like to hold their baby. I would run a hundred miles if anyone asked me to mind their kids or babysit, but with Xavier, I want to pick him up and hold him all the time. There is no baby aversion with your own I guess. He is starting to open his eyes a lot more and is making alot more noise. He is an abosolute time waster as you can spend hours simply looking at him and waiting for a change in expression or an unexpected curling smile.
It is amazing to thing that next Wednesday he will be three weeks old....time flies when you are having fun. The day before his third week birthday, his cousin will join him, ensuring fun times at Kos' parents place from then...all the more reason to make sure that the Kitchen gets put in on Wednesday!
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Day 25
When Kos comes home tomorrow, she would have been in hosptal for 25 days! A long time to be away from home and her loving husband! Unfortunately, Xavier won't be joining us. He will have to stay in the special care nursery for a few weeks yet. I think this will be quite hard for both of us, as we have waited so long and been through so much for his arrival. I guess it is a bit like waiting for Christmas, opening the best present of all time, and then not being allowed to take it home!
Xavier did get some guests yesterday and some very happy grandmothers, a grandfather and my great-grandmother got to have a hold for the first time. He was allowed out of the nursery for an hour, but from all the excitement was tired and slept for most of the day after that. He still needs plenty of rest to develop and it is hard to remember that he is now only 4 days old. We think he has grown a lot over the past few days, but then we see a full-term baby and he looks tiny compared to them.
To turn a negative into a positive, Xavier's extended stay in care will allow us to get the house ready for his arrival. We are putting in a new kitchen (yes we did leave it a bit too late, and would have done it sooner, but not having a job means that you cut back on those big ticket items!) which should be ready after Easter when Xavier comes home.
Welcome Home Kos!
Xavier did get some guests yesterday and some very happy grandmothers, a grandfather and my great-grandmother got to have a hold for the first time. He was allowed out of the nursery for an hour, but from all the excitement was tired and slept for most of the day after that. He still needs plenty of rest to develop and it is hard to remember that he is now only 4 days old. We think he has grown a lot over the past few days, but then we see a full-term baby and he looks tiny compared to them.
To turn a negative into a positive, Xavier's extended stay in care will allow us to get the house ready for his arrival. We are putting in a new kitchen (yes we did leave it a bit too late, and would have done it sooner, but not having a job means that you cut back on those big ticket items!) which should be ready after Easter when Xavier comes home.
Welcome Home Kos!
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
The Delight of Becoming a Father
Fighting out of the blue corner, wearing black and white trunks, with Australian and South African trainers and weighing in at 2.278 Kilograms, 47 Centimetres tall, please welcome to the ring for his professional debut, 5 weeks ahead of schedule.... XAVIER JAX EDWARD SPURR.There were a few dilemmas leading up to tonight, but so far it has been an ultimate delight for Kos and I becoming parents. We are overjoyed that our son is with us and that so far he is healthy. As mentioned previously, he wasn't getting a move on in the inside, so Dr Tan decided to go for a Caeser to speed up the process.
Kos was very calm heading into the theatre, however after getting into my scrubs and cracking a few nervous jokes, I was a mess as they brought out all the needles for the anaesthetic (sp? it is late) thank God they weren't for me otherwise instead of feeling a touch light headed I'd by vomiting on the floor, I managed to regain my composure and sat up the nice end, conversing with Kos and the Anaethetist. 5 minutes later Xavier was with us and he was placed on Kos chest after I cut the umbilical cord and he was pricked and prodded to make sure all was OK.
After 5 minutes with Kos and I the midwife took him and I upstairs, weighed and measured him and got him into a humidicrib. Just like a fine cigar, he'll need a bit more time to mature in there. The mid-wives say that he will probably be in there for about two to three weeks. Which will be hard for Kos and I. We Haven't really had a real cuddle yet, but this kid is a cute as pie in his new home. Kos and I spent about half and hour staring at him this evening and can't wait to see him again in the morning. Depending in how it all goes we'll hopefully get to have a hold tomorrow, but he needs some time in the crib to transition.
I'm exhausted. Life just took on greater meaning. I'm going to bed and dreaming of all the wondorous possibilities that Xavier, Kos and I will have together.
ps Gotta love Foxtel in the rooms. Go Australia! (I'm sure my lil' homeboy wants to visit his mum's homeland in 2010!)
Day 20
Well I spoke too early yesterday! Thank God it is after 12pm today, because this is no April Fool's Day joke. After undergoing another scan, it was decided that it was time our baby made its debut. The baby had not grown much since Kos had been in here, so it is best to get it out here and growing..
Kos called me at about 12.30 and told me the news, and after stopping at home briefly, I am here at the Mater. Just so you don't think I'm a bad husband, and would prefer to be writing about our ordeal rather, than spending time here with Kos, don't fret as I am on the laptop with Kos sitting next to me. Her Ceasarean is booked in for 5pm, so only about 2 more hours until 'we becomes three.'
Kos is ready for theatre and I'll be getting my scrubs on in due course. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, nothing is promised.
Kos called me at about 12.30 and told me the news, and after stopping at home briefly, I am here at the Mater. Just so you don't think I'm a bad husband, and would prefer to be writing about our ordeal rather, than spending time here with Kos, don't fret as I am on the laptop with Kos sitting next to me. Her Ceasarean is booked in for 5pm, so only about 2 more hours until 'we becomes three.'
Kos is ready for theatre and I'll be getting my scrubs on in due course. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers, nothing is promised.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
April fools
Well Kos was awake from 3am this morning. Thankfully she only decided to call me at about 7am. She had been awake since 3 because she was experiencing regular 'tightenings' and thought that the big show was about to begin. She told me to go to work as normal and that she would call me if there was any change in her status...although I talked to her a few times during the day, the tightenings had subsided and she was resigned to the fact that nothing too exciting would be happening today.
Kos was quite concerned that she would be having a baby on April 1st! At the same time though she is keen to get this baby out and re-join the 'outside' world. She reckons her sister Santha, who is due on April 21 and visited her today, jinxed her (there is some slight competition between the sisters over who is going to deliver first). Santha was a clear cut winner for some time until Kos' membrane ruptured 2 and a half weeks ago. Now only time will tell.
This evening after sharing a spicy meal together (to try and hurry things up) Kos once again experienced tightenings and the CGT scanner that measures the baby's heartbeat and contractions was placed on her (they put it on her every night). The tightenings had returned and were spaced about 15 minutes apart, but didn't become major contractions and eventually softened out.
Maybe just a warm-up for the main game in the next few days?
Kos was quite concerned that she would be having a baby on April 1st! At the same time though she is keen to get this baby out and re-join the 'outside' world. She reckons her sister Santha, who is due on April 21 and visited her today, jinxed her (there is some slight competition between the sisters over who is going to deliver first). Santha was a clear cut winner for some time until Kos' membrane ruptured 2 and a half weeks ago. Now only time will tell.
This evening after sharing a spicy meal together (to try and hurry things up) Kos once again experienced tightenings and the CGT scanner that measures the baby's heartbeat and contractions was placed on her (they put it on her every night). The tightenings had returned and were spaced about 15 minutes apart, but didn't become major contractions and eventually softened out.
Maybe just a warm-up for the main game in the next few days?
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Day 14
The past two weeks have been a blur....for both Kos and I. I'm working on my 'work - Mater - Home - Sleep' routine, while Kos gets to work on her 'sleep - visitors - sleep - Sam's visit - sleep' routine. Luckily I get to leave the Crows Nest Hilton!
Kos though, has been allowed to go on some short day trips to try and beat the monotony. Breakfast last Sunday was a breath of fresh air and reminded us of what life was like before thsis dilemma occurred. Tuesday night saw us back at Crows Nest for dinner with two of Kos' school friends. It is great to get her out of there! Tonight Kos spent some time at home. Yes under the guise of 'going up the road to dinner at Crows Nest, I brought her home to appraise my door painting skills and check that I was not living in a pig sty. It was nice to sit on the couch, watch TV and act like nothing had happened yet.
The situation is starting to get to us though. I can drive from home to the Mater along the Pacific Highway or River Road with my eyes closed, and sometimes in the evenings it seems that way (don't worry no micro-sleeps here people...we know that they can kill in seconds). I was saying to Kos, that although we are just lounging at the Mater, it is as though we can never truly relax, as I have to eventually drive home, and she can only relax when she is home - she needs a break from the now familiar four walls.
Kos went for a scan today and the baby is going well, but has not put on a hig amount of weight, although they do put this down to the fact that she has lost fluid and that the estimated weight of the baby is exactly that - an estimation. +/- 300 grams is a ball park figure. She (Kos that is, I don't know the sex of the baby and wouldn't give it way here!) certainly looks bigger. Those steroid injections she got in her arse definitely look like they have stimulated the baby's growth - it could also be that supper trolley. Although Kos' friend Mihiri looks forward to it more than Kos when she is visiting!
Voting - If you voted Late march for the arrival, well it is fast approaching and is almost on its way out. I'm thinking early April, maybe the 9th (great day to be born I reckon, eh Dushern?)
Kos though, has been allowed to go on some short day trips to try and beat the monotony. Breakfast last Sunday was a breath of fresh air and reminded us of what life was like before thsis dilemma occurred. Tuesday night saw us back at Crows Nest for dinner with two of Kos' school friends. It is great to get her out of there! Tonight Kos spent some time at home. Yes under the guise of 'going up the road to dinner at Crows Nest, I brought her home to appraise my door painting skills and check that I was not living in a pig sty. It was nice to sit on the couch, watch TV and act like nothing had happened yet.
The situation is starting to get to us though. I can drive from home to the Mater along the Pacific Highway or River Road with my eyes closed, and sometimes in the evenings it seems that way (don't worry no micro-sleeps here people...we know that they can kill in seconds). I was saying to Kos, that although we are just lounging at the Mater, it is as though we can never truly relax, as I have to eventually drive home, and she can only relax when she is home - she needs a break from the now familiar four walls.
Kos went for a scan today and the baby is going well, but has not put on a hig amount of weight, although they do put this down to the fact that she has lost fluid and that the estimated weight of the baby is exactly that - an estimation. +/- 300 grams is a ball park figure. She (Kos that is, I don't know the sex of the baby and wouldn't give it way here!) certainly looks bigger. Those steroid injections she got in her arse definitely look like they have stimulated the baby's growth - it could also be that supper trolley. Although Kos' friend Mihiri looks forward to it more than Kos when she is visiting!
Voting - If you voted Late march for the arrival, well it is fast approaching and is almost on its way out. I'm thinking early April, maybe the 9th (great day to be born I reckon, eh Dushern?)
Sunday, March 22, 2009
New Poll - WHEN???
Thank you to the 27 readers who responded to the previous Daddy Dilemmas poll. 15 of you voted that Kos is having a girl, while 12 of you thought it would be a boy.
Now that we know your thoughts on WHAT the sex of the baby is, now we need to know WHEN the baby will arrive!
VOTE in our new pollwhich asks 'When will Kos have the baby' as mentioned in previous posts, it could come tomorrow or it could come in a week, two weeks, three weeks, or it could go the whole term and decide to join us in early May. (Kos doens't really want to stay in hospital that long, but every day the bub gets on the inside the better for when he/she decides to join us on the outside!)
VOTE VOTE VOTE! Poll is located on the left had side of the screen below the first ad. Please feel free to keep clicking on those ads as well people! Those tests and scans don't come under private health insurance!
Now that we know your thoughts on WHAT the sex of the baby is, now we need to know WHEN the baby will arrive!
VOTE in our new pollwhich asks 'When will Kos have the baby' as mentioned in previous posts, it could come tomorrow or it could come in a week, two weeks, three weeks, or it could go the whole term and decide to join us in early May. (Kos doens't really want to stay in hospital that long, but every day the bub gets on the inside the better for when he/she decides to join us on the outside!)
VOTE VOTE VOTE! Poll is located on the left had side of the screen below the first ad. Please feel free to keep clicking on those ads as well people! Those tests and scans don't come under private health insurance!
Friday, March 20, 2009
Ante Natal Classes
Well our classes, started tonight...Kos didn't have to travel very far! It was great actully going to this meeting and learning more about our predicament and what the future holds. We were certainly thrown in the deep end last Thursday night. Our situation was a talking point and thankfully the teacher also put our minds (and I think hte minds of other parents to be) at rest with her information.
Yes it has been 8 days since Kos was admitted to Hospital and told that she wouldn't be going home until the baby arrives. A small milestone for us I guess - the longer the baby stays on the inside, the stronger and better prepared for the world it will be. It is killing Kos though. For someone so active it is hard for her to stay in the hospital. A short trip up to Crows Nest Shops with her sister yesterday was literally and figuratively a breath of fresh air for her. Kos mentioned that she felt like she was on day release from prison! It has been hard on both of us. I'm spending most of my spare time at the hospital, but at least I have work to provide some social and mental stimulation. Kos mentioned at the class tonight that this was an 'event' for her. It was good to mix and mingle with other parents.
Lets see if Kos can keep junior inside for 8 more days!
Yes it has been 8 days since Kos was admitted to Hospital and told that she wouldn't be going home until the baby arrives. A small milestone for us I guess - the longer the baby stays on the inside, the stronger and better prepared for the world it will be. It is killing Kos though. For someone so active it is hard for her to stay in the hospital. A short trip up to Crows Nest Shops with her sister yesterday was literally and figuratively a breath of fresh air for her. Kos mentioned that she felt like she was on day release from prison! It has been hard on both of us. I'm spending most of my spare time at the hospital, but at least I have work to provide some social and mental stimulation. Kos mentioned at the class tonight that this was an 'event' for her. It was good to mix and mingle with other parents.
Lets see if Kos can keep junior inside for 8 more days!
Monday, March 16, 2009
The Crows Nest Hilton
So here I am, chilling out at the Crows Nest Hilton, the food is okay, however the room service could be greatly improved.
For those of you who haven't yet heard through the Pather/Spurr grapevines, Kos is in hospital. But, before you gasp and think about getting on the phone to Sagri, Sally or I to check on how she is, I can assure you that she is doing fine! I think she will die of boredom before anything life altering happens.
Thursday Morning: Kos awakes to find that the area around her is wet. She thinks that the pregnancy may have caused incontinence, and rushes to the bathroom. She thinks there may be something wrong (hey I would be wetting the bed too if I had 3kgs of pressure being put on my bladder 24/7) so we head up to our hospital just to make sure. I had gotten dressed for work, thinking that Kos would be checked in half an hour, I'd drop her at home and then head off to work.
10 hours later we were still at the hospital. It was discovered that rather than Kos wetting the bed, her amniotic sac's membrane had ruptured (don't ask me how as I have no idea and the nurses don't offer much isight either...just one of those things that can happen.) and was slowly leaking amniotic fluid. Rather than having her waters break all at once in about 7 weeks, Kos' has decide on a slow leak routine.
We were advised that Kos wouldn't be going home and that she will be staying overnight at least. The Perfect Wingman (Dr Tan - see previous Post) decided to show up at the end of the day and instructed Kos that she wasn't going anywhere. Kos started laughing, as The Perfect Wingman has a weird sense of humour, but unfortunately this time he wasn't joking. Kos has to stay in here until the baby is born. That could be tomorrow or it could be three weeks away.
She can't go home as if anything does happen she needs to be close to help. She is on antibiotics to stop any infection getting to the baby and has had two huge steroid needles to give the baby a boost in case the baby does decide the enter the world sooner rather than later.
So, Kos has to sit it out and wait for the baby to arrive. 5 days down, some more to come. Just as long as that baby gets some more time in the womb all will be well. She may be getting bored but the room she is in has Foxtel, so she shouldn't be complaining...Monday night footy is on in 5, so gotta go... the Tigers are playing the Raiders.
For those of you who haven't yet heard through the Pather/Spurr grapevines, Kos is in hospital. But, before you gasp and think about getting on the phone to Sagri, Sally or I to check on how she is, I can assure you that she is doing fine! I think she will die of boredom before anything life altering happens.
Thursday Morning: Kos awakes to find that the area around her is wet. She thinks that the pregnancy may have caused incontinence, and rushes to the bathroom. She thinks there may be something wrong (hey I would be wetting the bed too if I had 3kgs of pressure being put on my bladder 24/7) so we head up to our hospital just to make sure. I had gotten dressed for work, thinking that Kos would be checked in half an hour, I'd drop her at home and then head off to work.
10 hours later we were still at the hospital. It was discovered that rather than Kos wetting the bed, her amniotic sac's membrane had ruptured (don't ask me how as I have no idea and the nurses don't offer much isight either...just one of those things that can happen.) and was slowly leaking amniotic fluid. Rather than having her waters break all at once in about 7 weeks, Kos' has decide on a slow leak routine.
We were advised that Kos wouldn't be going home and that she will be staying overnight at least. The Perfect Wingman (Dr Tan - see previous Post) decided to show up at the end of the day and instructed Kos that she wasn't going anywhere. Kos started laughing, as The Perfect Wingman has a weird sense of humour, but unfortunately this time he wasn't joking. Kos has to stay in here until the baby is born. That could be tomorrow or it could be three weeks away.
She can't go home as if anything does happen she needs to be close to help. She is on antibiotics to stop any infection getting to the baby and has had two huge steroid needles to give the baby a boost in case the baby does decide the enter the world sooner rather than later.
So, Kos has to sit it out and wait for the baby to arrive. 5 days down, some more to come. Just as long as that baby gets some more time in the womb all will be well. She may be getting bored but the room she is in has Foxtel, so she shouldn't be complaining...Monday night footy is on in 5, so gotta go... the Tigers are playing the Raiders.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Boy or Girl?
Only 10 days remain for readers to get their votes in!
Will Kos be having a boy or girl?
Did Sam's Y chromosome prove the difference or did that X chromosome get in first?
All will be revealed in eaerly May, but until then, all you can do is vote now.
So far most of you believe Kos is having a girl. C'mon punters show us what you are thinking!!
Will Kos be having a boy or girl?
Did Sam's Y chromosome prove the difference or did that X chromosome get in first?
All will be revealed in eaerly May, but until then, all you can do is vote now.
So far most of you believe Kos is having a girl. C'mon punters show us what you are thinking!!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
One less dilemma
First post in a couple of weeks. I have been busy though. As much as I love writing down my thoughts about this baby thing, getting a full-time job was also quite important. As many of you know I was made redundant just before Christmas. The stress of knowing a baby is on the way and making sure you have a stready income got pretty high for awhile. Thankfully I have secured a job and will have some dollars in the bank for when junior arrives.
It is an absolute full-time job looking for a full-time job! Despite a week of doing nothing immediately after being made redundant (to get my mind off things) the Monday to Friday routine was exactly that - a routine! After hitting the gym most mornings* I'd come home, sit in front of the computer searching Seek and MyCareer and apply for jobs. Application letters would be rwritten and re-written for each job and my CV was also altered to help suit the job being applied for. Before you know it, it was 4pm and Kos was coming home from work.
* If readers are Fitness First members, be on the look out for my article in the Fitness First Magazine on using a redundacy as a time to get to the gym and get fit. Should be in one of the next two editions! I went from couch to running 5k! So I did use my extra time on healthy pursuits and not just watching Ellen and Oprah every day - although I did kind of look forward to Ellen's dance routine in between clicking on job ads!
The Pregnancy: We are up to about week 31 - Kos is having trouble sleeping and is up for long stretches of time each night. Perfect training for those night feeds I guess! Besides that she is felling pretty good. Swollen Feet that look like flippers are the order of the day.
Last note: Thanks to all who were on the look out for a job to help a brother out! Your support was and is much appreciated!!
It is an absolute full-time job looking for a full-time job! Despite a week of doing nothing immediately after being made redundant (to get my mind off things) the Monday to Friday routine was exactly that - a routine! After hitting the gym most mornings* I'd come home, sit in front of the computer searching Seek and MyCareer and apply for jobs. Application letters would be rwritten and re-written for each job and my CV was also altered to help suit the job being applied for. Before you know it, it was 4pm and Kos was coming home from work.
* If readers are Fitness First members, be on the look out for my article in the Fitness First Magazine on using a redundacy as a time to get to the gym and get fit. Should be in one of the next two editions! I went from couch to running 5k! So I did use my extra time on healthy pursuits and not just watching Ellen and Oprah every day - although I did kind of look forward to Ellen's dance routine in between clicking on job ads!
The Pregnancy: We are up to about week 31 - Kos is having trouble sleeping and is up for long stretches of time each night. Perfect training for those night feeds I guess! Besides that she is felling pretty good. Swollen Feet that look like flippers are the order of the day.
Last note: Thanks to all who were on the look out for a job to help a brother out! Your support was and is much appreciated!!
Monday, February 23, 2009
New Pram Smell
Considering my current employment status, I won't be buying a new car for quite some time, however that doesn't mean I can't get any less satisfaction from a new mode of transport. Yesterday we got around to buying a pram for the bub and couldn't wait to get home, open our package, put it together and have a play!
Unbelievably, while putting the pram together I noticed a smell reminiscent of getting into someone's new car! You know what smell I'm talking about! Fresh upholstery, 10kms on the clock, setting the radio and clock settings whilst inhaling that vapour that can only mean one thing - a new car. This made me wonder - are pram manufacturers purposely putting this smell onto prams? I know the parts that go into making a pram probably produce that familiar smell, but I can't help wondering that they are doing it on purpose, mocking those of us who are buying a new pram, insinuating that we can't have a new car smell so we should be thankful with the new pram smell!
I love our new pram. We did some research and headed off to the shops (Baby Warehouse at Leichhardt - feel free to get in touch to negotiate some sponsorship deal/cash for comment!).
A few things parents should keep an eye out for when buying a pram:
1. All prams have a safety standard - so this ensures your baby will be safe, however there are some other things to look out for on a personal level.
2. Weight - make sure you and your partner can lift the damn thing when it is folded down. Some can get quite heavy!
3. Tyres - Plastic or inflatable? The choice you make can improve your circuit time by 5 seconds! Just kidding - but the lady did say the inflatable tyres can pop - a nuisance with a crying baby and the heavans about to open! Keep this in mind
4. How easy is it to fold down? Some simply require you to push a button and exert some pressure. Others make you twist and turn just to get them down. Have a play around at these shops - ask for a demo and have a go yourself!
5. Reversability - The pram we bought can have the kid facing us or facing the world. A simple thing that can make a world of difference.
6. Extras - Just like buying a car there are a myriad of extras you can buy to trick out your ride. Included with ours: UV cover, Rain cover, sleeping bag type thingy. Pretty cool.
What we bought: We picked up the Steelcraft Slider DLX for $550. I know, not the Hummer I wanted, but it will do the job and looks pretty funky and we got it in RED too.
Here is some photojournlism to get you as excited as I am about our new pram!
Reading the all important assemply instructions BEFORE starting. Kos warned me not to stuff it up...or words to that effect.
The step-up challenge. Great handling and performance!
Just checking the tilt ratio...or something like that!
Going Off-road: Great performance.
Unbelievably, while putting the pram together I noticed a smell reminiscent of getting into someone's new car! You know what smell I'm talking about! Fresh upholstery, 10kms on the clock, setting the radio and clock settings whilst inhaling that vapour that can only mean one thing - a new car. This made me wonder - are pram manufacturers purposely putting this smell onto prams? I know the parts that go into making a pram probably produce that familiar smell, but I can't help wondering that they are doing it on purpose, mocking those of us who are buying a new pram, insinuating that we can't have a new car smell so we should be thankful with the new pram smell!
I love our new pram. We did some research and headed off to the shops (Baby Warehouse at Leichhardt - feel free to get in touch to negotiate some sponsorship deal/cash for comment!).
A few things parents should keep an eye out for when buying a pram:
1. All prams have a safety standard - so this ensures your baby will be safe, however there are some other things to look out for on a personal level.
2. Weight - make sure you and your partner can lift the damn thing when it is folded down. Some can get quite heavy!
3. Tyres - Plastic or inflatable? The choice you make can improve your circuit time by 5 seconds! Just kidding - but the lady did say the inflatable tyres can pop - a nuisance with a crying baby and the heavans about to open! Keep this in mind
4. How easy is it to fold down? Some simply require you to push a button and exert some pressure. Others make you twist and turn just to get them down. Have a play around at these shops - ask for a demo and have a go yourself!
5. Reversability - The pram we bought can have the kid facing us or facing the world. A simple thing that can make a world of difference.
6. Extras - Just like buying a car there are a myriad of extras you can buy to trick out your ride. Included with ours: UV cover, Rain cover, sleeping bag type thingy. Pretty cool.
What we bought: We picked up the Steelcraft Slider DLX for $550. I know, not the Hummer I wanted, but it will do the job and looks pretty funky and we got it in RED too.
Here is some photojournlism to get you as excited as I am about our new pram!
Reading the all important assemply instructions BEFORE starting. Kos warned me not to stuff it up...or words to that effect.
The step-up challenge. Great handling and performance!
Just checking the tilt ratio...or something like that!
Going Off-road: Great performance.Can't wait to take the bub for his/her first 'ride'!
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Hand over the Credit Card.
Seeing as our first poll which gathered your opinions on how much it cots to have a baby these days is now concluded, I thought I'd give readers a summary of what we have paid for since embarking on this great journey of human life.
Note to potential dads out there: Although you may have private health insurance, don't get caught out like me thinking that every bill is taken care of. You'd think that for all that money you pour in you wouldn't have to pay for anything. How wrong I was! Private health insurance basically covers the hospital. All other costs are at your own expense. Some give a mediocre medicare rebate.
Here we go:
Ultrasounds are essential and very exciting but at $300 a pop x minimum of two you are looking at some serious pesos. By the way you get a free book at the centre we went to! (See Daddy Dilemmas post no. 2: ‘The $300 baby book’).
Medicare rebate approx $120 each (from memory)
Gyno: The Perfect Wingman doesn’t come cheap!
20 Week deposit was $3300. Medicare rebate just over $1000 (from memory).
Balance due at delivery$ 1700.
Plus factor in approximately 10 Antenatal visits @ $80 a pop. Medicare rebate for each is approx $32. Editor's note: Gyno visits last about 5-10 minutes.
Blood tests: Thank God I don’t have to go through with them as I faint at the site of anything sharp being held by a scary woman with rubber gloves, however the ladies will have to undergo a few. Prices: vary. Latest bill to detect gestational diabetes $168.50 (haven't paid it yet - waiting to clear the credit card.) Editor's note - Wifey is all good. Medicare rebate: various, but don't get too excited!
Anaesthetist: Kos is pretty sure that she’ll want the epidural. Priceless for her, but should be around $1000 for those of us who won't appreciate its power (read: all men).
I'll tally all costs once our baby is with us. Ladies, Don't get antsy that I am only thinking about the cost. Our little bundle of joy will be priceless and worth all the $$$ in the world. It just came as a shock to me that it was so damn expensive.
NEW POLL: Something much simpler this time. Is Kos having a boy or a girl? Vote NOW!
Note to potential dads out there: Although you may have private health insurance, don't get caught out like me thinking that every bill is taken care of. You'd think that for all that money you pour in you wouldn't have to pay for anything. How wrong I was! Private health insurance basically covers the hospital. All other costs are at your own expense. Some give a mediocre medicare rebate.
Here we go:
Ultrasounds are essential and very exciting but at $300 a pop x minimum of two you are looking at some serious pesos. By the way you get a free book at the centre we went to! (See Daddy Dilemmas post no. 2: ‘The $300 baby book’).
Medicare rebate approx $120 each (from memory)
Gyno: The Perfect Wingman doesn’t come cheap!
20 Week deposit was $3300. Medicare rebate just over $1000 (from memory).
Balance due at delivery$ 1700.
Plus factor in approximately 10 Antenatal visits @ $80 a pop. Medicare rebate for each is approx $32. Editor's note: Gyno visits last about 5-10 minutes.
Blood tests: Thank God I don’t have to go through with them as I faint at the site of anything sharp being held by a scary woman with rubber gloves, however the ladies will have to undergo a few. Prices: vary. Latest bill to detect gestational diabetes $168.50 (haven't paid it yet - waiting to clear the credit card.) Editor's note - Wifey is all good. Medicare rebate: various, but don't get too excited!
Anaesthetist: Kos is pretty sure that she’ll want the epidural. Priceless for her, but should be around $1000 for those of us who won't appreciate its power (read: all men).
I'll tally all costs once our baby is with us. Ladies, Don't get antsy that I am only thinking about the cost. Our little bundle of joy will be priceless and worth all the $$$ in the world. It just came as a shock to me that it was so damn expensive.
NEW POLL: Something much simpler this time. Is Kos having a boy or a girl? Vote NOW!
Monday, February 16, 2009
The Dream
You know this baby stuff is on your mind when you start dreaming about it! Although I have a lot of other things on my mind at the moment (jobs, or lack thereof) this is the first time I have had a dream about becoming a father. Of all places for this dream to be located, last night's dream took place at the Mater Hospital just after our bundle of joy arrived. It wasn't the most pleasant dream, but thankfully was far from a nightmare.
The Dream:
I was in the delivery ward and wifey had just delivered a healthy baby boy. This may be an on omen of some sort as we don't know the sex of the baby yet, but who knows?
I immediately texted all and sundry with the good news. I'm sure readers have received those SMS text message from people: ie John Smith, born, date, time, mum and dad fine etc. However in this dream I had texted everyone the wrong name. I vividly recall texting that my son's new name was David James Spurr along with the other details. (These two names are very far from what Kos and I have thought about in real life). I then returned to Kos who was recovering and told her about the text. She then went overboard telling me that this was not the name we had decided on if it were a boy. I immediately went into shock and then started texting everyone again with the real name (which I won't reveal here). In my dream I was cursing myself for being so stupid and waited for the backlash from friends about not knowing my son's name after just naming the boy earlier that day.
The dream then took an even stranger turn. Kos' family had planned a huge social event at the hospital. In the hospital's hall (do hospitals even have huge community halls?) were all of her family and friends who had been invited along to welcome the baby. If you know Kos' family, it is huge and perhaps this part of the dream comes from many a Pather family event held at the Dean Park Community Hall. This was all taking place just a day after Kos had given birth. Kos was looking slightly dishevelled, as is to be expected after giving birth the previous day, and I was extremely irritable that our newborn was being carried around the room, with each person in attendance holding the baby and shaking hands with the bub. Talk about weird! There were about 100 people in the room all hanging out to see the baby. At least everyone in this dream was keen to meet the newest addition to the family.
Perhaps a bit too keen!
I'm sure that this is not how the delivery and first couple of days will go. Either way, I am pretty sure I'll text everyone with the correct name. And if you don't get to the hospital to see us, don't worry we'll catch up soon after!
The Dream:
I was in the delivery ward and wifey had just delivered a healthy baby boy. This may be an on omen of some sort as we don't know the sex of the baby yet, but who knows?
I immediately texted all and sundry with the good news. I'm sure readers have received those SMS text message from people: ie John Smith, born, date, time, mum and dad fine etc. However in this dream I had texted everyone the wrong name. I vividly recall texting that my son's new name was David James Spurr along with the other details. (These two names are very far from what Kos and I have thought about in real life). I then returned to Kos who was recovering and told her about the text. She then went overboard telling me that this was not the name we had decided on if it were a boy. I immediately went into shock and then started texting everyone again with the real name (which I won't reveal here). In my dream I was cursing myself for being so stupid and waited for the backlash from friends about not knowing my son's name after just naming the boy earlier that day.
The dream then took an even stranger turn. Kos' family had planned a huge social event at the hospital. In the hospital's hall (do hospitals even have huge community halls?) were all of her family and friends who had been invited along to welcome the baby. If you know Kos' family, it is huge and perhaps this part of the dream comes from many a Pather family event held at the Dean Park Community Hall. This was all taking place just a day after Kos had given birth. Kos was looking slightly dishevelled, as is to be expected after giving birth the previous day, and I was extremely irritable that our newborn was being carried around the room, with each person in attendance holding the baby and shaking hands with the bub. Talk about weird! There were about 100 people in the room all hanging out to see the baby. At least everyone in this dream was keen to meet the newest addition to the family.
Perhaps a bit too keen!
I'm sure that this is not how the delivery and first couple of days will go. Either way, I am pretty sure I'll text everyone with the correct name. And if you don't get to the hospital to see us, don't worry we'll catch up soon after!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
The Reaction
Well there has been plenty of reaction to my last post regarding a 'Man Shower'. Passionate comments have been left at the end of the post and upon declaring a Man Shower 'Event' on the Daddy Dilemmas Facebook group, men from far and wide have cleared their calendars from now until the middle of the year!
The Man Shower does not yet have a set date and time, but I can assure all male readers that they will be given plenty of notice in order to attend.
Before my next post, here is what you can do:
1. Vote in the poll. Voting closes in 4 days, so if you haven't let your voice be heard, get into it. A new poll will begin at the conclusion of this one. So why are you still reading this? VOTE!!!
2. Click the ads. The redundancy payout dries up in three weeks and then we are onto savings. times are tough people. Clicking on the ads simply takes you to another page (you can always come back here) but for each click, the good people at Google send me some silver! So just like number 1, why are you still reading this? Hurry up and CLICK already!!!
3. Refer a friend. You won't get a free set of steak knives, but if you are enjoying reading this blog, please invite all of your friends to come to the blog, read some funny stories, vote and click away.
Here is a sample email you can cut and paste into an email:
Dear -----,
My good (friend/uncle/brother/nephew/etc) Sam has set-up a blog called Daddy Dilemmas. It is a great read and Sam offers his insights into the delights and dilemmas of becoming a father. There is added reason to visit the blog, as Sam is curently without a job and by visiting his blog, reading his posts and clicking on the Google Ads, you are providing much needed economic relief in these financially uncertain times.
Check out http://daddydilemmas.blogspot.com, www.daddydilemmas.com, or simply 'Google' Daddy Dilemmas. You can also join the Daddy Dilemmas Facebook Group. Please forward this email on to any friend who may be interested.
Thanks
(insert your name)
---
Now get back to your family commitments/work/social life and stay tuned for the next Daddy Dilemmas update!
Gracias
Sam
The Man Shower does not yet have a set date and time, but I can assure all male readers that they will be given plenty of notice in order to attend.
Before my next post, here is what you can do:
1. Vote in the poll. Voting closes in 4 days, so if you haven't let your voice be heard, get into it. A new poll will begin at the conclusion of this one. So why are you still reading this? VOTE!!!
2. Click the ads. The redundancy payout dries up in three weeks and then we are onto savings. times are tough people. Clicking on the ads simply takes you to another page (you can always come back here) but for each click, the good people at Google send me some silver! So just like number 1, why are you still reading this? Hurry up and CLICK already!!!
3. Refer a friend. You won't get a free set of steak knives, but if you are enjoying reading this blog, please invite all of your friends to come to the blog, read some funny stories, vote and click away.
Here is a sample email you can cut and paste into an email:
Dear -----,
My good (friend/uncle/brother/nephew/etc) Sam has set-up a blog called Daddy Dilemmas. It is a great read and Sam offers his insights into the delights and dilemmas of becoming a father. There is added reason to visit the blog, as Sam is curently without a job and by visiting his blog, reading his posts and clicking on the Google Ads, you are providing much needed economic relief in these financially uncertain times.
Check out http://daddydilemmas.blogspot.com, www.daddydilemmas.com, or simply 'Google' Daddy Dilemmas. You can also join the Daddy Dilemmas Facebook Group. Please forward this email on to any friend who may be interested.
Thanks
(insert your name)
---
Now get back to your family commitments/work/social life and stay tuned for the next Daddy Dilemmas update!
Gracias
Sam
Monday, February 9, 2009
The Man Shower
Okay, please don't start singing the hook from 'It's Raining Men' nor assess this post with any sexuality contexts which society may have foisted upon you since your own birth. The topic today, as you'll find out if you keep reading, is simply a play on words for what I consider a man's right if he is to become a father. Women who are undergoing major life events such as either a wedding or having a baby usually receive a Wedding Shower/Kitchen Tea/Baby Shower etc, where they get all their female relatives and closest girlfriends over for an afternoon of 'oohing and ahhing' at the lovely gifts they are giving to the lucky lady who is either getting hitched or about to undergo severe pain for a few hours in the delivery room.
Before you interject, yes I know men have their buck's parties, where copious amounts of alcohol are consumed to celebrate the end of being single, but there is no male equivalent of a baby shower. I'm not asking for my mates to come around, tell girly stories, bring over some freshly baked cakes and bring me presents which will be useful only when the baby arrives.
Instead I would like to have a huge day/night (depending on what time we get home) out to celebrate the end of being a husband and the beginning of the fatherhood journey. Before all you ladies interject that this is simply a rort to enjoy another huge night out, let me remind you all that since a man's bucks party he has been a loving, caring, doting man who has only slipped out of the house for a few quiet beers to return home by 9pm on a few occasions since getting married. (bulls*&% I hear some of you ladies mutter!)
Regardless of your protestations, (you'll be at the Baby Shower anyway) the Man Shower will revolutionise how men celebrate fatherhood. A fellow expectant father has decided to assist me in these celebrations to ensure that I remember what life was like before children came along. While you ladies can enjoy the delights of baby jump suits, cute size 000 socks and baby's first dummy (pacifier for my American readers), the gentlemen in your lives will be living it up, as when the baby arrives we will be not going out at all for the next few years!
Man Shower Activities: Already proposed are some activities which will ensure that a husband to be will never forget his last days as a husband/partner and perhaps wish that he should have behaved himself 9 months before.
Events (listed in no particular order and can all be undertaken in the space of 24 hours):
- Day at Races (and drinking)
- Lawn Bowls (and drinking)
- Day/Night at the pub (and drinking!)
- Poker/Casino visit (and drinking)
- Go-Karting (no drinking - event to be held prior to other events)
Gentlemen, feel free to nominate your event if it isn't listed here.
Ladies, enjoy your baby paraphenalia. I'll appreciate them when the baby arrives and I'm stuck for baby clothes!
Before you interject, yes I know men have their buck's parties, where copious amounts of alcohol are consumed to celebrate the end of being single, but there is no male equivalent of a baby shower. I'm not asking for my mates to come around, tell girly stories, bring over some freshly baked cakes and bring me presents which will be useful only when the baby arrives.
Instead I would like to have a huge day/night (depending on what time we get home) out to celebrate the end of being a husband and the beginning of the fatherhood journey. Before all you ladies interject that this is simply a rort to enjoy another huge night out, let me remind you all that since a man's bucks party he has been a loving, caring, doting man who has only slipped out of the house for a few quiet beers to return home by 9pm on a few occasions since getting married. (bulls*&% I hear some of you ladies mutter!)
Regardless of your protestations, (you'll be at the Baby Shower anyway) the Man Shower will revolutionise how men celebrate fatherhood. A fellow expectant father has decided to assist me in these celebrations to ensure that I remember what life was like before children came along. While you ladies can enjoy the delights of baby jump suits, cute size 000 socks and baby's first dummy (pacifier for my American readers), the gentlemen in your lives will be living it up, as when the baby arrives we will be not going out at all for the next few years!
Man Shower Activities: Already proposed are some activities which will ensure that a husband to be will never forget his last days as a husband/partner and perhaps wish that he should have behaved himself 9 months before.
Events (listed in no particular order and can all be undertaken in the space of 24 hours):
- Day at Races (and drinking)
- Lawn Bowls (and drinking)
- Day/Night at the pub (and drinking!)
- Poker/Casino visit (and drinking)
- Go-Karting (no drinking - event to be held prior to other events)
Gentlemen, feel free to nominate your event if it isn't listed here.
Ladies, enjoy your baby paraphenalia. I'll appreciate them when the baby arrives and I'm stuck for baby clothes!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Being Brad
Wondering if you are going to be a decent father is a question I have asked myself plenty of times throughout this adventure, and it is a question I am sure I'll be asking myself for the next 50 years. Trying to be the perfect parents can leave many of us in despair when things don't go to plan. Just as so many young women blindly chase the Hollywood vision of what it is to be a woman, so too have I found that celebrity fatherhood is influencing my perceptions of what it is to be a father.
Brad Pitt is the perfect example. Now Brad and I don't go way back, and I'm not catching up with him for coffee THIS weekend, so all I know about his life comes from his films, the paparazzi and media. He seems to have a perfect life: Hollywood career, Ange by his side, (hey I've got Kos, no contest there) but what I have found most interesting lately is that his fatherhood is being focused on more and more. He is presented as the loving husband and caring father (I'm sure he is) to the Nth degree. He dotes on his children (how many is it now? are we into double figures?) and is regularly photographed with sons and daughters in tow heading down to the park etc. This protrayal of fatherhood will be easy to follow. Perhaps I need to work on my abs and my piercing blue eyes a bit more, but heading down to the park with kids in hand is the easy part.
The guidance, education and discipline of a child is what will make this journey all the more exciting, scary and intriguing. I'm still trying to guide, educate and discipline myself (only 3 more biscuits!) let alone a child who I'll be responsible for. I guess you learn along the way and remember all the things your parents did when you were younger to try and instill a sense of the world into your child. Who knows if Brad completes all of these successfully at home? He may just pass the kids to the au pair and head over to Clooney's pad for some poker while Ange gets some more GPS co-ordinates tattooed to her shoulder.
I think the expectations are high, but as long as father's do their best the kids will be ok. We may not be a glitzy as Brad and Ange when they walk their kids to the park or the latest premiere, with our child's bottles, nappies, and dirty clothing hanging off the pram, but the pride in our kids will certainly be just as much as any other parent's.
Brad Pitt is the perfect example. Now Brad and I don't go way back, and I'm not catching up with him for coffee THIS weekend, so all I know about his life comes from his films, the paparazzi and media. He seems to have a perfect life: Hollywood career, Ange by his side, (hey I've got Kos, no contest there) but what I have found most interesting lately is that his fatherhood is being focused on more and more. He is presented as the loving husband and caring father (I'm sure he is) to the Nth degree. He dotes on his children (how many is it now? are we into double figures?) and is regularly photographed with sons and daughters in tow heading down to the park etc. This protrayal of fatherhood will be easy to follow. Perhaps I need to work on my abs and my piercing blue eyes a bit more, but heading down to the park with kids in hand is the easy part.
The guidance, education and discipline of a child is what will make this journey all the more exciting, scary and intriguing. I'm still trying to guide, educate and discipline myself (only 3 more biscuits!) let alone a child who I'll be responsible for. I guess you learn along the way and remember all the things your parents did when you were younger to try and instill a sense of the world into your child. Who knows if Brad completes all of these successfully at home? He may just pass the kids to the au pair and head over to Clooney's pad for some poker while Ange gets some more GPS co-ordinates tattooed to her shoulder.
I think the expectations are high, but as long as father's do their best the kids will be ok. We may not be a glitzy as Brad and Ange when they walk their kids to the park or the latest premiere, with our child's bottles, nappies, and dirty clothing hanging off the pram, but the pride in our kids will certainly be just as much as any other parent's.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
The Hospital Tour
As mentioned before, we have been paying exorbitant amounts of money to HCF for the past 8 years and this was the sole reason we decided to have our baby at a private hospital. Besides the obligatory trip to the dentist every 6 months or so, we have never used our fund and therefore wanted to get some value from it.
I'll be writing about the full costs of having a baby (and you thought everything was covered!) later when our poll has finished. If you have not yet voted you are more than welcome to by clicking on the poll on the left side of this page. Today however I'll recount an episode that occurred when we went for our first hospital visit a few months ago.
Going on a hospital tour is vital for anyone having a baby. If your hospital offers one, do it - it will put your mind at ease and you get to see where everything is, including where you can hide when it starts getting hectic in the delivery ward! Just kidding. Tours are great. They put your mind at ease and you get the general layout of the place.
Our group tour included two other couples who were at similar stages in their pregnancies. We first visited the delivery room. A lovely set-up complete with spa bath. "Just what I would need amongst the stressful atmosphere of baby delivery" (said in jest)..."It's for the mum," I was told sternly by the matron. We then moved on to the rooms and they looked very comfortable. Then again you'd want them to be if you just squeezed a watermelon out of your genitalia! We then moved on to the nursery (I'm sure there is a more accurate name for it than this) where all the new borns are all lined up. All the women in the group cooed at the cuties on display. Connected to the nursery is the room where the nurses put you through your daddy and mummy training after the birth with tips and tricks for cleaning stinky bums etc etc.
Finally the guide showed us the section of the ward which catered for premature babies and babies requiring a bit of help after delivery. The bloke next to me and I went to have a squiz and while doing so, the guide mentioned that it was an extra $1000 if a newborn required these facilities. "Whoa" we said, "$1000, hopefully we won't be needing this room," I added. The guide then corrected us: "No, not $1000 all up, $1000 per day!" This bloke and I lost some colour from our faces and we were both thankfull we were in a hospital in case we needed some oxygen. Luckily the guide quickly noted that this expense is covered by your private health fund, but that you had to make sure you had family cover. We both looked at each other said that this was the first phone call we would make upon leaving the tour.
If you are expecting a child and are in a private health fund, check that you have family cover, as any new borns won't be covered if you only have individual or couple cover. Thankfully we did, and hopefully we won't be requiring the services of the '$1000 dollars a day room'.
----
Also, Congrats to our good friends Al and Josie on the first public appearance of their son Leon over the weekend. Baby, mum and dad all doing well. I might get Al to write up a guest report. Congrats again guys!
I'll be writing about the full costs of having a baby (and you thought everything was covered!) later when our poll has finished. If you have not yet voted you are more than welcome to by clicking on the poll on the left side of this page. Today however I'll recount an episode that occurred when we went for our first hospital visit a few months ago.
Going on a hospital tour is vital for anyone having a baby. If your hospital offers one, do it - it will put your mind at ease and you get to see where everything is, including where you can hide when it starts getting hectic in the delivery ward! Just kidding. Tours are great. They put your mind at ease and you get the general layout of the place.
Our group tour included two other couples who were at similar stages in their pregnancies. We first visited the delivery room. A lovely set-up complete with spa bath. "Just what I would need amongst the stressful atmosphere of baby delivery" (said in jest)..."It's for the mum," I was told sternly by the matron. We then moved on to the rooms and they looked very comfortable. Then again you'd want them to be if you just squeezed a watermelon out of your genitalia! We then moved on to the nursery (I'm sure there is a more accurate name for it than this) where all the new borns are all lined up. All the women in the group cooed at the cuties on display. Connected to the nursery is the room where the nurses put you through your daddy and mummy training after the birth with tips and tricks for cleaning stinky bums etc etc.
Finally the guide showed us the section of the ward which catered for premature babies and babies requiring a bit of help after delivery. The bloke next to me and I went to have a squiz and while doing so, the guide mentioned that it was an extra $1000 if a newborn required these facilities. "Whoa" we said, "$1000, hopefully we won't be needing this room," I added. The guide then corrected us: "No, not $1000 all up, $1000 per day!" This bloke and I lost some colour from our faces and we were both thankfull we were in a hospital in case we needed some oxygen. Luckily the guide quickly noted that this expense is covered by your private health fund, but that you had to make sure you had family cover. We both looked at each other said that this was the first phone call we would make upon leaving the tour.
If you are expecting a child and are in a private health fund, check that you have family cover, as any new borns won't be covered if you only have individual or couple cover. Thankfully we did, and hopefully we won't be requiring the services of the '$1000 dollars a day room'.
----
Also, Congrats to our good friends Al and Josie on the first public appearance of their son Leon over the weekend. Baby, mum and dad all doing well. I might get Al to write up a guest report. Congrats again guys!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Baby Business - Prams
I think I am in the wrong industry. Everytime we go shopping, looking for baby gear, I'm astounded at the copious varieties, brands and styles of baby gear available. I won't whinge about prices here, because baby gear, like any other industry has an entry level, mid level, and 'the global financial crisis hasn't got me yet' level. It's an excellent business to be in. As long as sex continues to be enjoyable (I have a hunch it will) and not everyone uses contraception, its a win/win enterprise. A bit like being a funeral director I guess - everyone dies at some stage (and it's recession proof!).
Back to the baby gear. We visited a certain warehouse (which will go unamed as we are not working on cash for comment...YET!) and came across a variety of goodies. There must of been at least 20 types of strollers and prams to have a look at and 'road test'. Forget the new Beamer, I'm road testing strollers now baby; great handling, great fuel efficiency, unlimited kilometre warranty....but I digress...
Perusing these strollers and prams is a task in itself. So many options, so many questions and not a staff member in sight. When I first learnt that we were expecting a baby, I had grand dreams of getting one of those power prams that have the big wheels, iPod docking station and cup holders so I could take the baby off-road. If I couldn't afford a monster truck in real life then I'd have the baby version....until Kos brought me back to earth..."I'll be one using it the most and want something light to get in and out of the car."
I want the Hummer Pram (if a branded one exists even better) and she wants the Holden Astra Pram. We are yet to purchase a pram and I'll be taking both points of view into consideration...Hummer it is!
Buying the nice things for baby is one of the best (and stressful) things that parents can do. Going shopping for the new addition to the family is fun most of the time and even if you are just window shopping it can be a dilemma. I think all parents want the best baby funiture and gear for their child, however when it comes down to it, a baby won't care less about the ride he or she is in as long as it is safe and comfortable. Materialism and branding is something we humans instill at a later age... My cousin recently summed this point up quite well. He told me, after I had painted the walls in our house for a bit of a spruce up and in preparation for the arrival, "The baby won't be looking at the walls and commenting on your paint job or thinking 'who chose this colour scheme?" A good point indeed.
Ebay I'm told is a great source of baby gear. Who cares if a few other brats have crapped and thrown-up in it right? I'm kidding... as along as it is clean (Dettol anyone?) it will do the job. Half this stuff will become redundant after a few months or years so think twice before paying top dollar for minor items.
I'd still like the 'Hummer' pram though. Bright red if anyone sees one!
Back to the baby gear. We visited a certain warehouse (which will go unamed as we are not working on cash for comment...YET!) and came across a variety of goodies. There must of been at least 20 types of strollers and prams to have a look at and 'road test'. Forget the new Beamer, I'm road testing strollers now baby; great handling, great fuel efficiency, unlimited kilometre warranty....but I digress...
Perusing these strollers and prams is a task in itself. So many options, so many questions and not a staff member in sight. When I first learnt that we were expecting a baby, I had grand dreams of getting one of those power prams that have the big wheels, iPod docking station and cup holders so I could take the baby off-road. If I couldn't afford a monster truck in real life then I'd have the baby version....until Kos brought me back to earth..."I'll be one using it the most and want something light to get in and out of the car."
I want the Hummer Pram (if a branded one exists even better) and she wants the Holden Astra Pram. We are yet to purchase a pram and I'll be taking both points of view into consideration...Hummer it is!
Buying the nice things for baby is one of the best (and stressful) things that parents can do. Going shopping for the new addition to the family is fun most of the time and even if you are just window shopping it can be a dilemma. I think all parents want the best baby funiture and gear for their child, however when it comes down to it, a baby won't care less about the ride he or she is in as long as it is safe and comfortable. Materialism and branding is something we humans instill at a later age... My cousin recently summed this point up quite well. He told me, after I had painted the walls in our house for a bit of a spruce up and in preparation for the arrival, "The baby won't be looking at the walls and commenting on your paint job or thinking 'who chose this colour scheme?" A good point indeed.
Ebay I'm told is a great source of baby gear. Who cares if a few other brats have crapped and thrown-up in it right? I'm kidding... as along as it is clean (Dettol anyone?) it will do the job. Half this stuff will become redundant after a few months or years so think twice before paying top dollar for minor items.
I'd still like the 'Hummer' pram though. Bright red if anyone sees one!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Baby Brain aka Absentmindedness
Increased Absentmindedness. The book we have read through for the past few months repeatedly states that this will be a re-curring aspect of my wife's preganancy. I kept seeing this phrase but could not think of any specific examples....what was I writing about?
Had you going for a minute!
There have been countless small examples of baby brain during Kos' pregnancy (for both of us) but there have been a few times where for a moment I thought I had married a complete nutter. Thankfully, as the book suggests this will pass once the baby comes. Seeing as our friend Mihiri had her go at the blokes with her 'Doing a Dad' post (see previous post), I thought I would turn the tables and give you an insight into some of my wife's silly antics.
To my male readers: Fear not, the baby brain symptoms come and go and she'll be back to her old self in no time (at least 9 months). Fathers and Fathers to be: have any baby brain stories? send 'em through to sam@inlumino.com.au
Episodes:
The Car: My wife, a primary school teacher, drove to school one day. She had a great day, and arrived home at the usual time. Later that night I had to go out and walked to our driveway to see that the car was missing. It was nowhere to be seen. Not down the street, not rolling into the neighbours front yard. Nothing! I quickly rushed back inside the house thinking that the car had been stolen from our driveway. Kos came out and was just as startled. We were about to call the cops when she then remembered that she had driven to school!
She had had such an episode of absentmindedness that she had asked a colleague for a lift home because I had apparently dropped her at school!!! (the car was safely locked away in the school parking lot overnight, I dropped her at school the next morning, and wifey drove home that afternoon.)
The Phone: Wifey went out for dinner with a colleague (actually the same one who drove her home that afternoon - I see a recurring theme here Hannah!). I had some 'Sam Time' and watched TV and had a few beers. I went into the bedroom and faintly heard the phone ringing. Kos hadn't put the phone back into its dock, (which is a regular occurrence anyway) so I pulled up the quilt, pillows and bed sheets, thinking that she had been lying on the bed talking on the phone and had left it there, but nothing. I look underneath the bed, underneath the desk, but still nothing. I eventually opened our wardrobe and underneath some clothes at the BACK of our walk-in wardrobe was the phone. Nothing like talking on the phone in wardrobe and then just leaving it there.
Once I had answered the phone, one of her Aunties mentioned that she had been trying to call all night!
Change has come to America but you can still vote in the Daddy Dilemmas Poll to the left of this page. How much do you think it is to have a baby? I'll post on this topic later!
Had you going for a minute!
There have been countless small examples of baby brain during Kos' pregnancy (for both of us) but there have been a few times where for a moment I thought I had married a complete nutter. Thankfully, as the book suggests this will pass once the baby comes. Seeing as our friend Mihiri had her go at the blokes with her 'Doing a Dad' post (see previous post), I thought I would turn the tables and give you an insight into some of my wife's silly antics.
To my male readers: Fear not, the baby brain symptoms come and go and she'll be back to her old self in no time (at least 9 months). Fathers and Fathers to be: have any baby brain stories? send 'em through to sam@inlumino.com.au
Episodes:
The Car: My wife, a primary school teacher, drove to school one day. She had a great day, and arrived home at the usual time. Later that night I had to go out and walked to our driveway to see that the car was missing. It was nowhere to be seen. Not down the street, not rolling into the neighbours front yard. Nothing! I quickly rushed back inside the house thinking that the car had been stolen from our driveway. Kos came out and was just as startled. We were about to call the cops when she then remembered that she had driven to school!
She had had such an episode of absentmindedness that she had asked a colleague for a lift home because I had apparently dropped her at school!!! (the car was safely locked away in the school parking lot overnight, I dropped her at school the next morning, and wifey drove home that afternoon.)
The Phone: Wifey went out for dinner with a colleague (actually the same one who drove her home that afternoon - I see a recurring theme here Hannah!). I had some 'Sam Time' and watched TV and had a few beers. I went into the bedroom and faintly heard the phone ringing. Kos hadn't put the phone back into its dock, (which is a regular occurrence anyway) so I pulled up the quilt, pillows and bed sheets, thinking that she had been lying on the bed talking on the phone and had left it there, but nothing. I look underneath the bed, underneath the desk, but still nothing. I eventually opened our wardrobe and underneath some clothes at the BACK of our walk-in wardrobe was the phone. Nothing like talking on the phone in wardrobe and then just leaving it there.
Once I had answered the phone, one of her Aunties mentioned that she had been trying to call all night!
Change has come to America but you can still vote in the Daddy Dilemmas Poll to the left of this page. How much do you think it is to have a baby? I'll post on this topic later!
Friday, January 23, 2009
Doing a Dad
Daddy Dilemmas is pleased to present its first guest writer, Mihiri Udabage.
Mihiri and her family have been great friends of ours for the past 10 years. Mihiri sent through a piece she penned a few years ago, but the story is too good not to share!
She currently operates her own small business, Generation Wonder. Generation Wonder specialises in organic, eco-friendly, fairtrade items and gifts for children. Visit her fantastic online store at http://www.generationwonder.com.au/
--
When D.A.D is Bad.
Mother of two, Mihiri Udabage, explains the new meaning of DAD.
We’ve coined a new phrase in our house. It’s called ‘Doing a Dad’. I doubt very much it’s original since on reflection most dads I know have ‘done a dad’ at some point or other. And before you go thinking about odd sexual encounters with or between dads, let me clarify.
Doing a Dad (D.A.D) refers to an act, be it spoken, written or physical, carried out by the father of your children, who is also sometimes your husband (unfortunately, at these times only), such that it humiliates you and your children in a public and most embarrassing manner. It is a phenomenon that oddly manifests itself only on occasions where it is very important to you (wife, partner and mother) that your family is perceived to be of good calibre. It is also recognisable by the roll of the eyes and mutterance of the mother, as in, “Oh no, he’s done a dad.”
This is a condition difficult to diagnose for the first time parent, but instantly recognisable by those of us weathered by more than one season of pregnancy. Yes, that’s all the time it takes for the D.A.D condition to become symptomatic, for those destined to be severely afflicted.
Case in point: - the first time my husband Did a Dad was in our obstetrician’s office. I was keen for him to attend, and to his credit he did make each and every 5 minute appointment we were allocated. As a first-time expectant parent, I was over-read, over-advised, and over-googled about the whole deal. Naturally, I wanted to make a good impression on our doctor and hopefully impress him with my knowledge and sound preparation such that he would forever remember me as a whole and intelligent person, and not just a vessel carrying his pay cheque.
Each five minute appointment was efficiently routine. He’d ask me how I was. I’d say, fine thank you. Any questions? Not today thank you. Any concerns? No, I’m good. Hop on the scales. Hop on the bed. Take blood pressure. Listen to baby’s heart. Prod. Poke. See you next time. Done.
So when my husband piped up with “I have a concern doctor...” I was a little taken aback. What concern? He wasn’t concerned enough to mention it to me before the appointment. “I’ve been reading about pregnant women getting high blood pressure,” he pondered. “What are we doing about that?” My eyes widened and froze. My doctor looked up from his note taking and looked at me then at my husband. “We take her blood pressure…..every time,” he groaned, before peering over his glasses back at me. ME. As if it was my question. “Oh. Yes….yes, yes, yes. Good. Good, good, good,” nodded my husband approvingly.
I couldn’t wait to get out of the office to hiss my derision at him. But before we could leave, his mobile went off in the reception area and the fossil on point duty at the front desk gave him a two minute lecture about mobiles and their deadly interference with medical equipment, just long enough for the doctor to come out to collect the smug couple of perfection waiting, and see us hanging our heads in shame.
So that’s how it rears its insidious little head. A first hint, followed closely by a second bite. You could almost palm it off as a glitch, or having a bad day. But you know it’s real and he’s Done a Dad if one or more of the following happen:
- Your baby’s just been born. Your husband proudly exclaims for all in the room to hear “It’s a boy!” Wrong. It’s a girl.
- You’ve just finished telling your girlfriends how good he is with the children, when he sprints past, keys in hand. “Gotta go back to the shops. Left the kids on the Big Red Car!”
- He agrees to bring the children to meet you at the airport. Your four year old daughter is dressed in her 2 year old brother’s pants, and your son is in his sister’s red poncho.
- You’re just taking your leave of the paediatrician when your husband settles back in his seat and starts talking about his medical history and how he hasn’t been feeling well lately, and does the paediatrician think he might have caught something while he was out getting his haircut last weekend?
So before any other mum, wife or partner is caught unawares by a dad Doing a Dad I’m off to put my listing of D.A.D on wikipedia. Does anyone know if you can upload photos?
--
Thanks Mihiri. Top work Raj! I'll hopefully learn from your previous indiscretions!
Mihiri and her family have been great friends of ours for the past 10 years. Mihiri sent through a piece she penned a few years ago, but the story is too good not to share!
She currently operates her own small business, Generation Wonder. Generation Wonder specialises in organic, eco-friendly, fairtrade items and gifts for children. Visit her fantastic online store at http://www.generationwonder.com.au/
--
When D.A.D is Bad.
Mother of two, Mihiri Udabage, explains the new meaning of DAD.
We’ve coined a new phrase in our house. It’s called ‘Doing a Dad’. I doubt very much it’s original since on reflection most dads I know have ‘done a dad’ at some point or other. And before you go thinking about odd sexual encounters with or between dads, let me clarify.
Doing a Dad (D.A.D) refers to an act, be it spoken, written or physical, carried out by the father of your children, who is also sometimes your husband (unfortunately, at these times only), such that it humiliates you and your children in a public and most embarrassing manner. It is a phenomenon that oddly manifests itself only on occasions where it is very important to you (wife, partner and mother) that your family is perceived to be of good calibre. It is also recognisable by the roll of the eyes and mutterance of the mother, as in, “Oh no, he’s done a dad.”
This is a condition difficult to diagnose for the first time parent, but instantly recognisable by those of us weathered by more than one season of pregnancy. Yes, that’s all the time it takes for the D.A.D condition to become symptomatic, for those destined to be severely afflicted.
Case in point: - the first time my husband Did a Dad was in our obstetrician’s office. I was keen for him to attend, and to his credit he did make each and every 5 minute appointment we were allocated. As a first-time expectant parent, I was over-read, over-advised, and over-googled about the whole deal. Naturally, I wanted to make a good impression on our doctor and hopefully impress him with my knowledge and sound preparation such that he would forever remember me as a whole and intelligent person, and not just a vessel carrying his pay cheque.
Each five minute appointment was efficiently routine. He’d ask me how I was. I’d say, fine thank you. Any questions? Not today thank you. Any concerns? No, I’m good. Hop on the scales. Hop on the bed. Take blood pressure. Listen to baby’s heart. Prod. Poke. See you next time. Done.
So when my husband piped up with “I have a concern doctor...” I was a little taken aback. What concern? He wasn’t concerned enough to mention it to me before the appointment. “I’ve been reading about pregnant women getting high blood pressure,” he pondered. “What are we doing about that?” My eyes widened and froze. My doctor looked up from his note taking and looked at me then at my husband. “We take her blood pressure…..every time,” he groaned, before peering over his glasses back at me. ME. As if it was my question. “Oh. Yes….yes, yes, yes. Good. Good, good, good,” nodded my husband approvingly.
I couldn’t wait to get out of the office to hiss my derision at him. But before we could leave, his mobile went off in the reception area and the fossil on point duty at the front desk gave him a two minute lecture about mobiles and their deadly interference with medical equipment, just long enough for the doctor to come out to collect the smug couple of perfection waiting, and see us hanging our heads in shame.
So that’s how it rears its insidious little head. A first hint, followed closely by a second bite. You could almost palm it off as a glitch, or having a bad day. But you know it’s real and he’s Done a Dad if one or more of the following happen:
- Your baby’s just been born. Your husband proudly exclaims for all in the room to hear “It’s a boy!” Wrong. It’s a girl.
- You’ve just finished telling your girlfriends how good he is with the children, when he sprints past, keys in hand. “Gotta go back to the shops. Left the kids on the Big Red Car!”
- He agrees to bring the children to meet you at the airport. Your four year old daughter is dressed in her 2 year old brother’s pants, and your son is in his sister’s red poncho.
- You’re just taking your leave of the paediatrician when your husband settles back in his seat and starts talking about his medical history and how he hasn’t been feeling well lately, and does the paediatrician think he might have caught something while he was out getting his haircut last weekend?
So before any other mum, wife or partner is caught unawares by a dad Doing a Dad I’m off to put my listing of D.A.D on wikipedia. Does anyone know if you can upload photos?
--
Thanks Mihiri. Top work Raj! I'll hopefully learn from your previous indiscretions!
Thursday, January 22, 2009
I'll take the baby!
A break from Sydney was just what the doctor ordered (literally and figuratively). After our horror week last week it was nice to get in the car and get out of town for some down time. We could forget about shopping for baby stuff (both of us) , looking for a job (me), getting hit by a car (kos), and feel as though we didn't have a care in the world.
Out little trip down the South Coast was great. Long walks along the beach, romantic dinners, swimming, eating, cigar smoking (me that is - don't panic and Kos was asleep and I was outside with the door closed!) etcetera etcetera!
At one stage I was thinking negatively about my employment status (still nada) and Kos quickly turned to me and said "If you don't stay positive I'll take the baby away - I don't want to be hanging around a sad case."
From then of course I didn't have one negative thought about employment and we had a great weekend. From that moment onwards whenever each of us said or did anything stupid, silly or ridiculous that line would get replayed "...I'll take the baby away..."
You don't feel like swimming? "I'll take the baby away..."
If you want to stop at another winery... "I'll take the baby away"
I think you get the point...
but don't worry kids, nothing like a bit of family banter - our relationship is rock solid.
In light of my current employment status, I have completed some freelance writing work for some friends and relatives. Many of you would know that I have written for magazines for some time, and so, with all this TIME on my hands I will be pursuing more freelance work in the business communications sector to help pay the bills. If you haven't seen my site head over to http://www.inlumino.com.au/
If you or someone you know needs some writing work completed be sure to send them my way. And click on those ads! We have made $13.75 since this blog started...the more you click the more spare change we have to avoid the dole queue. Gracias senhores y senhoritas
Out little trip down the South Coast was great. Long walks along the beach, romantic dinners, swimming, eating, cigar smoking (me that is - don't panic and Kos was asleep and I was outside with the door closed!) etcetera etcetera!
At one stage I was thinking negatively about my employment status (still nada) and Kos quickly turned to me and said "If you don't stay positive I'll take the baby away - I don't want to be hanging around a sad case."
From then of course I didn't have one negative thought about employment and we had a great weekend. From that moment onwards whenever each of us said or did anything stupid, silly or ridiculous that line would get replayed "...I'll take the baby away..."
You don't feel like swimming? "I'll take the baby away..."
If you want to stop at another winery... "I'll take the baby away"
I think you get the point...
but don't worry kids, nothing like a bit of family banter - our relationship is rock solid.
In light of my current employment status, I have completed some freelance writing work for some friends and relatives. Many of you would know that I have written for magazines for some time, and so, with all this TIME on my hands I will be pursuing more freelance work in the business communications sector to help pay the bills. If you haven't seen my site head over to http://www.inlumino.com.au/
If you or someone you know needs some writing work completed be sure to send them my way. And click on those ads! We have made $13.75 since this blog started...the more you click the more spare change we have to avoid the dole queue. Gracias senhores y senhoritas
Monday, January 19, 2009
The Babymoon
- Bellachara Resort Gerringong -Quite a few hotels and resorts now advertise to expecting parents that their property is the best place have what is now known as a babymoon - time before the baby's arrival to rest, rejuvenate and have some time together before the imminent arrival. From research I have carried out a hefty price tag is attached which includes pamper packs, chocolates etc.... fine for some, but when you're on a budget I'll create my own pamper pack thank you very much.
We are off to Bellachara Resort near Gerringong (http://www.bellachara.com.au/) for two days of R n R. It is much needed. We both can't wait to get out of Sydney for some time to ourselves. That pool looks inviting!
While we're away: no blog postings obviously, but feel free to read through the first week of posts and click on those ads!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
What lifestyle?
A severe and utter change in lifestyle is, I think, what scares most people about having a baby. I know that it is one of the things I am most apprehensive about.
Although we had a night on the lounge last night with some DVDs (Love in the Age of Cholera - great flick, but I digress) we do enjoy going out and catching up with friends for either breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner and a few beverages in between and afterwards. We aren't the biggest party people on the planet, but do like to spend great times with our great friends.
Will this all end? Perhaps it won't end but I'm sure it won't be the same. I think the spontenaity of going out will. We usually plan to catch up with friends in advance, but not by much sometimes. Often it comes down to 'Let's see what XYZ friends are up to tonight...' on a Saturday at 4pm. When the baby does arrive I think the mere thought of 'lets just jump in the car' will certainly end. Every social outing will have to be meticulously planned up to 2 weeks in advance!
What is interesting though is that 3 couples in our circle of friends have, or are having kids this year. In a way we are joining the club so to speak and would kind of be on the outer if we were the DINKS (Double Income No KidS to those not in the know), living a lifestyle which was different to theirs, while still socialising with them. I'm sure our friendships would be strong enough regardless.
A change is gonna come, like it or not, however I think I have been conditioned to it somewhat - Kos obviously hasn't been drinking for the past few months and therefore we have often retreated a bit earlier from the pub. Also my lack of employment has had us watching the pennies and not having crazy nights out, blowing our hard earned pesos on booze.
House parties at the Playboy Mansion (if you've seen our place you know I'm kidding) are the way to go I think. You are all invited. Park your pram at the front door!
Although we had a night on the lounge last night with some DVDs (Love in the Age of Cholera - great flick, but I digress) we do enjoy going out and catching up with friends for either breakfast, brunch, lunch or dinner and a few beverages in between and afterwards. We aren't the biggest party people on the planet, but do like to spend great times with our great friends.
Will this all end? Perhaps it won't end but I'm sure it won't be the same. I think the spontenaity of going out will. We usually plan to catch up with friends in advance, but not by much sometimes. Often it comes down to 'Let's see what XYZ friends are up to tonight...' on a Saturday at 4pm. When the baby does arrive I think the mere thought of 'lets just jump in the car' will certainly end. Every social outing will have to be meticulously planned up to 2 weeks in advance!
What is interesting though is that 3 couples in our circle of friends have, or are having kids this year. In a way we are joining the club so to speak and would kind of be on the outer if we were the DINKS (Double Income No KidS to those not in the know), living a lifestyle which was different to theirs, while still socialising with them. I'm sure our friendships would be strong enough regardless.
A change is gonna come, like it or not, however I think I have been conditioned to it somewhat - Kos obviously hasn't been drinking for the past few months and therefore we have often retreated a bit earlier from the pub. Also my lack of employment has had us watching the pennies and not having crazy nights out, blowing our hard earned pesos on booze.
House parties at the Playboy Mansion (if you've seen our place you know I'm kidding) are the way to go I think. You are all invited. Park your pram at the front door!
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Keeping Mummy Yummy
One thing that all mothers will go through is the changing nature of their bodies. One thing all fathers will go through is hearing about these changes and ensuring that their partners stay in the right frame of mind.
Since wifey found out that she was expecting. she has steadily put on weight within the healthy weight range. Regardless of this, I constantly hear about how my wife is feeling fat and frumpy. This is not to say that she doesn't feel those things, however I, being the caring husband, have communicated with her on almost a daily basis that although she may feel this way, she shouldn't feel negatively about it - she is pregnant after all. If my wife had put on 8 kilos in such a short space of time and wasn't pregnant, then I'd be worried.
Despite the reassurance from me, it takes a while for the message to get through and despite acknowledging the fact that she is pregnant and is going to gain weight, she still complains about being uncomfortable.
I think that such a sudden change would have me feeling pretty concerned as well. Getting some exercise, eating healthily (not blaming poor diet choices on eating for 2 as is the common excuse) and ensuring that getting clothes that fit are all the order of the day. Who cares if clothes are two sizes larger than what you normally buy or you are buying maternity gear. At least you'll feel comfortable and not be wearing tight clothes. I remind Kos of this regularly.
Cravings: in these tough financial times we are improving Twisties' turnover and enjoying alot of carbs!
Keeping mummy yummy is not just about making sure mum stays healthy, but also maintaining positive self-esteem and staying in the right frame of mind. I on the other hand need to keep my food baby under control. I often eat for three!
Since wifey found out that she was expecting. she has steadily put on weight within the healthy weight range. Regardless of this, I constantly hear about how my wife is feeling fat and frumpy. This is not to say that she doesn't feel those things, however I, being the caring husband, have communicated with her on almost a daily basis that although she may feel this way, she shouldn't feel negatively about it - she is pregnant after all. If my wife had put on 8 kilos in such a short space of time and wasn't pregnant, then I'd be worried.
Despite the reassurance from me, it takes a while for the message to get through and despite acknowledging the fact that she is pregnant and is going to gain weight, she still complains about being uncomfortable.
I think that such a sudden change would have me feeling pretty concerned as well. Getting some exercise, eating healthily (not blaming poor diet choices on eating for 2 as is the common excuse) and ensuring that getting clothes that fit are all the order of the day. Who cares if clothes are two sizes larger than what you normally buy or you are buying maternity gear. At least you'll feel comfortable and not be wearing tight clothes. I remind Kos of this regularly.
Cravings: in these tough financial times we are improving Twisties' turnover and enjoying alot of carbs!
Keeping mummy yummy is not just about making sure mum stays healthy, but also maintaining positive self-esteem and staying in the right frame of mind. I on the other hand need to keep my food baby under control. I often eat for three!
Friday, January 16, 2009
The bump gets bumped
I coudn't make this stuff up if I tried!
I headed up to Crows Nest this morning to get a haircut and Kos joined me. While I was getting my Brad Pitt look worked on, she was going to have stroll around the shops. I had just sat in the chair and was getting my sides cleaned up when a gentlemen came in the hairdressers and said "I think I need to speak with this gentleman." - while pointing at me. He came up and said that Kos had stepped out in front of his car and he had bumped her but that she was ok. I jumped out of the seat, ripped the apron off and ran down the road to check on Kos.
She had a few scratches and was in a daze. Thankfully we were in Crows Nest and my ultimate wingman (Dr Tan) and his practice was just around the corner. We rushed up there and Dr Tan saw us immediately. A quick poke and prod and some ultrasound and heart-beat checks showed that the bub was ok, there was no internal damage, but that Kos better relax over the weekend. He told Kos to stay out of the way of any cars from now on. We are going back on Monday to follow-up and make sure all is ok.
I have never been more frantic in my life. From running out of the haridressers to getting to the medical centre it was stressful! I never thought I'd face a Daddy Dilemma as big as this so early on!
Kos is resting up and has no visible bruising - the driver was luckily just creeping along.
Family: don't get over-excited. Kos is fine and although you may be concerned she said that if I put this on the blog that we would geta thousand phone calls. All is ok! You can follow it up through the Pather/Spurr grapevine!
Meanwhile my melon will get the Brad Pitt look again this afternoon. Still gotta look good for whatever dilemma comes up!
I headed up to Crows Nest this morning to get a haircut and Kos joined me. While I was getting my Brad Pitt look worked on, she was going to have stroll around the shops. I had just sat in the chair and was getting my sides cleaned up when a gentlemen came in the hairdressers and said "I think I need to speak with this gentleman." - while pointing at me. He came up and said that Kos had stepped out in front of his car and he had bumped her but that she was ok. I jumped out of the seat, ripped the apron off and ran down the road to check on Kos.
She had a few scratches and was in a daze. Thankfully we were in Crows Nest and my ultimate wingman (Dr Tan) and his practice was just around the corner. We rushed up there and Dr Tan saw us immediately. A quick poke and prod and some ultrasound and heart-beat checks showed that the bub was ok, there was no internal damage, but that Kos better relax over the weekend. He told Kos to stay out of the way of any cars from now on. We are going back on Monday to follow-up and make sure all is ok.
I have never been more frantic in my life. From running out of the haridressers to getting to the medical centre it was stressful! I never thought I'd face a Daddy Dilemma as big as this so early on!
Kos is resting up and has no visible bruising - the driver was luckily just creeping along.
Family: don't get over-excited. Kos is fine and although you may be concerned she said that if I put this on the blog that we would geta thousand phone calls. All is ok! You can follow it up through the Pather/Spurr grapevine!
Meanwhile my melon will get the Brad Pitt look again this afternoon. Still gotta look good for whatever dilemma comes up!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
The Perfect Wingman
After discovering that my wife was pregnant, the first process to complete was to find an obstetrician. As we have been pouring money into HCF for some time now, the decision to go private and use that investment was made (more on public vs private later). Once the decision was made we contacted the Mater Hospital in North Sydney who put us in touch with Dr Steven Tan. He came highly recommended and even the receptionist praised his work as we were handing over details during our first visit.
Information we would only find out later would make our accidental choice all the more reassuring. Dr Tan had been through hell and back and still managed to deliver a baby.
Back in early 2007, Dr Tan was on the way to deliver at the Mater, when carjackers approached, grabbed him, threw him in the boot of the car and sped off. They eventually stopped and got out, but not before setting the car alight with Doc still in the boot! With smoke pouring into the boot, Dr Tan heard the boot click open and didn't think twice about jumping out.
That same day he later went on to deliver a few babies!
I'm reminded of that classic film Top Gun. Maverick gets called up to fly into a dogfight. After landing back on the carrier safely, his nemesis IceMan comes up and states that Maverick can be his Wingman anytime. Maverick replys 'bull... you can be mine."
I'll be happy to be Dr Tan's wingman in the delivery room.
We are off for another check up with the famous Dr Tan today. Results posted later.
What you can do in the mean time:
VOTE: Change we can believe in? Maybe not, but vote in our poll on the left. Share your thoughts on the cost of having a baby. More polls will be created over time.
CLICK: it costs you nothing to click on the ads and the spare change is helpful! Thanks!
Don't believe the story I have just told? Check out http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/doctors-early-morning-carjack-nightmare/2007/03/19/1174152972158.html?page=fullpage
Information we would only find out later would make our accidental choice all the more reassuring. Dr Tan had been through hell and back and still managed to deliver a baby.
Back in early 2007, Dr Tan was on the way to deliver at the Mater, when carjackers approached, grabbed him, threw him in the boot of the car and sped off. They eventually stopped and got out, but not before setting the car alight with Doc still in the boot! With smoke pouring into the boot, Dr Tan heard the boot click open and didn't think twice about jumping out.
That same day he later went on to deliver a few babies!
I'm reminded of that classic film Top Gun. Maverick gets called up to fly into a dogfight. After landing back on the carrier safely, his nemesis IceMan comes up and states that Maverick can be his Wingman anytime. Maverick replys 'bull... you can be mine."
I'll be happy to be Dr Tan's wingman in the delivery room.
We are off for another check up with the famous Dr Tan today. Results posted later.
What you can do in the mean time:
VOTE: Change we can believe in? Maybe not, but vote in our poll on the left. Share your thoughts on the cost of having a baby. More polls will be created over time.
CLICK: it costs you nothing to click on the ads and the spare change is helpful! Thanks!
Don't believe the story I have just told? Check out http://www.smh.com.au/news/national/doctors-early-morning-carjack-nightmare/2007/03/19/1174152972158.html?page=fullpage
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Shock and Awe
I felt the baby move for the first time last night!
Kos has obviously felt the baby move alot than me, but everytime she did feel it move, I would run over, place my hand on her bump and wait...and wait....and wait...but nada..nothing. So last night when I felt my unborn child's kickboxing skills it made the preganancy all the more real (even after our first ultrasound: refer to my previous post).
I have gone through (just as many other fathers have and will) a variety of emotions since finding out that we are expecting. From jubilation that my junk works (nasty topic, but hey good for the male ego!) to excitement at the prospect of having a junior Sam n Kos with us in May. Another emotion I have also experienced lately is one of being utterly freaked out. 'Scared' is not a good enough descriptor!
I wake up sometimes realising that in three and a half short months I'll be responsible for a baby. Food and clothes are the easy part. The doubt of your ability to be a father creeps in and the amount of stuff we have to get organised before the arrival of the bub can sometimes make you want to jump back into bed and awake from the nightmare!
They say women's emotions fluctuate wildly during pregnancy, but I think men's thoughts and feelings need to be acknowledged as well. It is a roller coaster ride for both parents and a huge lifestyle shift for all parties involved.
Don't get me wrong, freaking out occurs, but thankfully not as often as the happiness experienced on the journey so far, so let me get back to feeling those punches and kicks and enjoy the wonder of expecting a child!
Kos has obviously felt the baby move alot than me, but everytime she did feel it move, I would run over, place my hand on her bump and wait...and wait....and wait...but nada..nothing. So last night when I felt my unborn child's kickboxing skills it made the preganancy all the more real (even after our first ultrasound: refer to my previous post).
I have gone through (just as many other fathers have and will) a variety of emotions since finding out that we are expecting. From jubilation that my junk works (nasty topic, but hey good for the male ego!) to excitement at the prospect of having a junior Sam n Kos with us in May. Another emotion I have also experienced lately is one of being utterly freaked out. 'Scared' is not a good enough descriptor!
I wake up sometimes realising that in three and a half short months I'll be responsible for a baby. Food and clothes are the easy part. The doubt of your ability to be a father creeps in and the amount of stuff we have to get organised before the arrival of the bub can sometimes make you want to jump back into bed and awake from the nightmare!
They say women's emotions fluctuate wildly during pregnancy, but I think men's thoughts and feelings need to be acknowledged as well. It is a roller coaster ride for both parents and a huge lifestyle shift for all parties involved.
Don't get me wrong, freaking out occurs, but thankfully not as often as the happiness experienced on the journey so far, so let me get back to feeling those punches and kicks and enjoy the wonder of expecting a child!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
The $300 baby book
Despite the costs it was all worth it...The cost of having a baby is one thing that will be repeatedly touched on in this blog. I'm sure once the baby arrives the costs will be long forgotten, but until then, I can't believe how much it costs to have a baby and all the extra services you have to get. This baby isn't even born yet and all I seem to be doing is whipping out the credit card - no wonder people are having fewer kids!
Our first ultrasound was momentous. Kos knew she was pregnant and could feel her body changing - boobs getting bigger (no problem here), hips widening slightly (Beyonce anyone?) but besides these things, for a bloke it seemed that I had to go on face value that she was pregnant. The first ultrasound was great. For the first time I could identify that there was a baby growing inside! Hearing the heartbeat (always a good thing) and having the baby's arms, head, legs etc pointed out to you is a great experience. It really is the first time it hits you that there is a baby there.
This first scan was to make sure everything was going well (which it was) and do a transnuchal (sp) test to see what the risks were of any abormalities. I had paid my $300 for the ultrasound but we had to hang around for 5 minutes -after the scan we were required to visit with the nurse who would go through the results. Everything was in good order. There was a one in 5000 chance of something being amiss which was a good reading.
The classic moment came as the nurse had concluded her presentation - she gave us a showbag of baby supplies (sponsored stuff of course) and then she went to her bookcase, pulled down a book which looked like it had been picked up at the $5 bargain bin down the road, handed it to us and said "Here is your free book to track your baby's development." We already had 3 of these types of books, but I felt like saying "Hey - that book isn't free, we just paid $300 - don't tell me that book is free!" Unbelievable...you've given us a 20 minute scan and a 5 minute debrief, but don't say the book is free!
At least I thought we would get most of it back from Medicare or from HCF - after all we had been paying $70 a fortnight for the past 4 years without any major claims.
Medicare rebate on Ultrasound was $80. Despite all the costs that first image of our child is priceless!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Fun with Sam n Kos
It was the most exciting time for my wife and I. We learnt that my wife was pregnant (after trying for some time) in September 2008 and we were looking foward to having a baby. I didn't have a care in the world. Work was great, our social life was great, and we had just returned from a weekend up the coast to celebrate my grandmother's 85th birthday.
On the workfront the team I was a member of was going through some structural changes but I was told not to jump onto any career websites as there wasn't a threat to my position...or so I thought.
On November 14th I got the phone call that makes you take a deep breath. The CFO called me up to his office. I knew that either I was joining a new team or - well I didn't even want to think about the other option. Unfortunately it was the other - after 18 months of service, my position was made redundant. I was given a nice sum to tide me over, however one part of my perfect world came crashing down overnight. Expecting a baby, whilst having a decent paying job is one thing. Expecting a baby without one is a completely different thing!
Welcome to Daddy Dilemmas, a blog I have created to shed some light on the practical aspects of expecting a baby from a father to be's point of view. There is plenty of info out there that is female friendly, however I'm sure I can present practical tips for dads to be.
Throughout this blog I'll be typing away about my experiences looking for work, the doubts, dramas and dilemmas of having a baby from my position, and all the other life stuff that makes getting up in the morning a pain in the neck sometimes.
Welcome to Daddy Dillemas - 'The Journey is the Thing'.
On the workfront the team I was a member of was going through some structural changes but I was told not to jump onto any career websites as there wasn't a threat to my position...or so I thought.
On November 14th I got the phone call that makes you take a deep breath. The CFO called me up to his office. I knew that either I was joining a new team or - well I didn't even want to think about the other option. Unfortunately it was the other - after 18 months of service, my position was made redundant. I was given a nice sum to tide me over, however one part of my perfect world came crashing down overnight. Expecting a baby, whilst having a decent paying job is one thing. Expecting a baby without one is a completely different thing!
Welcome to Daddy Dilemmas, a blog I have created to shed some light on the practical aspects of expecting a baby from a father to be's point of view. There is plenty of info out there that is female friendly, however I'm sure I can present practical tips for dads to be.
Throughout this blog I'll be typing away about my experiences looking for work, the doubts, dramas and dilemmas of having a baby from my position, and all the other life stuff that makes getting up in the morning a pain in the neck sometimes.
Welcome to Daddy Dillemas - 'The Journey is the Thing'.
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