New Pram Smell

Considering my current employment status, I won't be buying a new car for quite some time, however that doesn't mean I can't get any less satisfaction from a new mode of transport. Yesterday we got around to buying a pram for the bub and couldn't wait to get home, open our package, put it together and have a play!

Unbelievably, while putting the pram together I noticed a smell reminiscent of getting into someone's new car! You know what smell I'm talking about! Fresh upholstery, 10kms on the clock, setting the radio and clock settings whilst inhaling that vapour that can only mean one thing - a new car. This made me wonder - are pram manufacturers purposely putting this smell onto prams? I know the parts that go into making a pram probably produce that familiar smell, but I can't help wondering that they are doing it on purpose, mocking those of us who are buying a new pram, insinuating that we can't have a new car smell so we should be thankful with the new pram smell!

I love our new pram. We did some research and headed off to the shops (Baby Warehouse at Leichhardt - feel free to get in touch to negotiate some sponsorship deal/cash for comment!).

A few things parents should keep an eye out for when buying a pram:

1. All prams have a safety standard - so this ensures your baby will be safe, however there are some other things to look out for on a personal level.
2. Weight - make sure you and your partner can lift the damn thing when it is folded down. Some can get quite heavy!
3. Tyres - Plastic or inflatable? The choice you make can improve your circuit time by 5 seconds! Just kidding - but the lady did say the inflatable tyres can pop - a nuisance with a crying baby and the heavans about to open! Keep this in mind
4. How easy is it to fold down? Some simply require you to push a button and exert some pressure. Others make you twist and turn just to get them down. Have a play around at these shops - ask for a demo and have a go yourself!
5. Reversability - The pram we bought can have the kid facing us or facing the world. A simple thing that can make a world of difference.
6. Extras - Just like buying a car there are a myriad of extras you can buy to trick out your ride. Included with ours: UV cover, Rain cover, sleeping bag type thingy. Pretty cool.

What we bought: We picked up the Steelcraft Slider DLX for $550. I know, not the Hummer I wanted, but it will do the job and looks pretty funky and we got it in RED too.

Here is some photojournlism to get you as excited as I am about our new pram!

Reading the all important assemply instructions BEFORE starting. Kos warned me not to stuff it up...or words to that effect.

The step-up challenge. Great handling and performance!

Just checking the tilt ratio...or something like that!

Going Off-road: Great performance.

Can't wait to take the bub for his/her first 'ride'!

Hand over the Credit Card.

Seeing as our first poll which gathered your opinions on how much it cots to have a baby these days is now concluded, I thought I'd give readers a summary of what we have paid for since embarking on this great journey of human life.

Note to potential dads out there: Although you may have private health insurance, don't get caught out like me thinking that every bill is taken care of. You'd think that for all that money you pour in you wouldn't have to pay for anything. How wrong I was! Private health insurance basically covers the hospital. All other costs are at your own expense. Some give a mediocre medicare rebate.

Here we go:
Ultrasounds are essential and very exciting but at $300 a pop x minimum of two you are looking at some serious pesos. By the way you get a free book at the centre we went to! (See Daddy Dilemmas post no. 2: ‘The $300 baby book’).
Medicare rebate approx $120 each (from memory)

Gyno: The Perfect Wingman doesn’t come cheap!
20 Week deposit was $3300. Medicare rebate just over $1000 (from memory).
Balance due at delivery$ 1700.
Plus factor in approximately 10 Antenatal visits @ $80 a pop. Medicare rebate for each is approx $32. Editor's note: Gyno visits last about 5-10 minutes.

Blood tests: Thank God I don’t have to go through with them as I faint at the site of anything sharp being held by a scary woman with rubber gloves, however the ladies will have to undergo a few. Prices: vary. Latest bill to detect gestational diabetes $168.50 (haven't paid it yet - waiting to clear the credit card.) Editor's note - Wifey is all good. Medicare rebate: various, but don't get too excited!

Anaesthetist: Kos is pretty sure that she’ll want the epidural. Priceless for her, but should be around $1000 for those of us who won't appreciate its power (read: all men).

I'll tally all costs once our baby is with us. Ladies, Don't get antsy that I am only thinking about the cost. Our little bundle of joy will be priceless and worth all the $$$ in the world. It just came as a shock to me that it was so damn expensive.

NEW POLL: Something much simpler this time. Is Kos having a boy or a girl? Vote NOW!

The Dream

You know this baby stuff is on your mind when you start dreaming about it! Although I have a lot of other things on my mind at the moment (jobs, or lack thereof) this is the first time I have had a dream about becoming a father. Of all places for this dream to be located, last night's dream took place at the Mater Hospital just after our bundle of joy arrived. It wasn't the most pleasant dream, but thankfully was far from a nightmare.

The Dream:
I was in the delivery ward and wifey had just delivered a healthy baby boy. This may be an on omen of some sort as we don't know the sex of the baby yet, but who knows?
I immediately texted all and sundry with the good news. I'm sure readers have received those SMS text message from people: ie John Smith, born, date, time, mum and dad fine etc. However in this dream I had texted everyone the wrong name. I vividly recall texting that my son's new name was David James Spurr along with the other details. (These two names are very far from what Kos and I have thought about in real life). I then returned to Kos who was recovering and told her about the text. She then went overboard telling me that this was not the name we had decided on if it were a boy. I immediately went into shock and then started texting everyone again with the real name (which I won't reveal here). In my dream I was cursing myself for being so stupid and waited for the backlash from friends about not knowing my son's name after just naming the boy earlier that day.

The dream then took an even stranger turn. Kos' family had planned a huge social event at the hospital. In the hospital's hall (do hospitals even have huge community halls?) were all of her family and friends who had been invited along to welcome the baby. If you know Kos' family, it is huge and perhaps this part of the dream comes from many a Pather family event held at the Dean Park Community Hall. This was all taking place just a day after Kos had given birth. Kos was looking slightly dishevelled, as is to be expected after giving birth the previous day, and I was extremely irritable that our newborn was being carried around the room, with each person in attendance holding the baby and shaking hands with the bub. Talk about weird! There were about 100 people in the room all hanging out to see the baby. At least everyone in this dream was keen to meet the newest addition to the family.
Perhaps a bit too keen!

I'm sure that this is not how the delivery and first couple of days will go. Either way, I am pretty sure I'll text everyone with the correct name. And if you don't get to the hospital to see us, don't worry we'll catch up soon after!

The Reaction

Well there has been plenty of reaction to my last post regarding a 'Man Shower'. Passionate comments have been left at the end of the post and upon declaring a Man Shower 'Event' on the Daddy Dilemmas Facebook group, men from far and wide have cleared their calendars from now until the middle of the year!

The Man Shower does not yet have a set date and time, but I can assure all male readers that they will be given plenty of notice in order to attend.

Before my next post, here is what you can do:
1. Vote in the poll. Voting closes in 4 days, so if you haven't let your voice be heard, get into it. A new poll will begin at the conclusion of this one. So why are you still reading this? VOTE!!!

2. Click the ads. The redundancy payout dries up in three weeks and then we are onto savings. times are tough people. Clicking on the ads simply takes you to another page (you can always come back here) but for each click, the good people at Google send me some silver! So just like number 1, why are you still reading this? Hurry up and CLICK already!!!

3. Refer a friend. You won't get a free set of steak knives, but if you are enjoying reading this blog, please invite all of your friends to come to the blog, read some funny stories, vote and click away.

Here is a sample email you can cut and paste into an email:

Dear -----,

My good (friend/uncle/brother/nephew/etc) Sam has set-up a blog called Daddy Dilemmas. It is a great read and Sam offers his insights into the delights and dilemmas of becoming a father. There is added reason to visit the blog, as Sam is curently without a job and by visiting his blog, reading his posts and clicking on the Google Ads, you are providing much needed economic relief in these financially uncertain times.

Check out http://daddydilemmas.blogspot.com, www.daddydilemmas.com, or simply 'Google' Daddy Dilemmas. You can also join the Daddy Dilemmas Facebook Group. Please forward this email on to any friend who may be interested.

Thanks

(insert your name)

---
Now get back to your family commitments/work/social life and stay tuned for the next Daddy Dilemmas update!

Gracias
Sam

The Man Shower

Okay, please don't start singing the hook from 'It's Raining Men' nor assess this post with any sexuality contexts which society may have foisted upon you since your own birth. The topic today, as you'll find out if you keep reading, is simply a play on words for what I consider a man's right if he is to become a father. Women who are undergoing major life events such as either a wedding or having a baby usually receive a Wedding Shower/Kitchen Tea/Baby Shower etc, where they get all their female relatives and closest girlfriends over for an afternoon of 'oohing and ahhing' at the lovely gifts they are giving to the lucky lady who is either getting hitched or about to undergo severe pain for a few hours in the delivery room.

Before you interject, yes I know men have their buck's parties, where copious amounts of alcohol are consumed to celebrate the end of being single, but there is no male equivalent of a baby shower. I'm not asking for my mates to come around, tell girly stories, bring over some freshly baked cakes and bring me presents which will be useful only when the baby arrives.

Instead I would like to have a huge day/night (depending on what time we get home) out to celebrate the end of being a husband and the beginning of the fatherhood journey. Before all you ladies interject that this is simply a rort to enjoy another huge night out, let me remind you all that since a man's bucks party he has been a loving, caring, doting man who has only slipped out of the house for a few quiet beers to return home by 9pm on a few occasions since getting married. (bulls*&% I hear some of you ladies mutter!)

Regardless of your protestations, (you'll be at the Baby Shower anyway) the Man Shower will revolutionise how men celebrate fatherhood. A fellow expectant father has decided to assist me in these celebrations to ensure that I remember what life was like before children came along. While you ladies can enjoy the delights of baby jump suits, cute size 000 socks and baby's first dummy (pacifier for my American readers), the gentlemen in your lives will be living it up, as when the baby arrives we will be not going out at all for the next few years!

Man Shower Activities: Already proposed are some activities which will ensure that a husband to be will never forget his last days as a husband/partner and perhaps wish that he should have behaved himself 9 months before.

Events (listed in no particular order and can all be undertaken in the space of 24 hours):

- Day at Races (and drinking)
- Lawn Bowls (and drinking)
- Day/Night at the pub (and drinking!)
- Poker/Casino visit (and drinking)
- Go-Karting (no drinking - event to be held prior to other events)

Gentlemen, feel free to nominate your event if it isn't listed here.
Ladies, enjoy your baby paraphenalia. I'll appreciate them when the baby arrives and I'm stuck for baby clothes!

Being Brad

Wondering if you are going to be a decent father is a question I have asked myself plenty of times throughout this adventure, and it is a question I am sure I'll be asking myself for the next 50 years. Trying to be the perfect parents can leave many of us in despair when things don't go to plan. Just as so many young women blindly chase the Hollywood vision of what it is to be a woman, so too have I found that celebrity fatherhood is influencing my perceptions of what it is to be a father.

Brad Pitt is the perfect example. Now Brad and I don't go way back, and I'm not catching up with him for coffee THIS weekend, so all I know about his life comes from his films, the paparazzi and media. He seems to have a perfect life: Hollywood career, Ange by his side, (hey I've got Kos, no contest there) but what I have found most interesting lately is that his fatherhood is being focused on more and more. He is presented as the loving husband and caring father (I'm sure he is) to the Nth degree. He dotes on his children (how many is it now? are we into double figures?) and is regularly photographed with sons and daughters in tow heading down to the park etc. This protrayal of fatherhood will be easy to follow. Perhaps I need to work on my abs and my piercing blue eyes a bit more, but heading down to the park with kids in hand is the easy part.

The guidance, education and discipline of a child is what will make this journey all the more exciting, scary and intriguing. I'm still trying to guide, educate and discipline myself (only 3 more biscuits!) let alone a child who I'll be responsible for. I guess you learn along the way and remember all the things your parents did when you were younger to try and instill a sense of the world into your child. Who knows if Brad completes all of these successfully at home? He may just pass the kids to the au pair and head over to Clooney's pad for some poker while Ange gets some more GPS co-ordinates tattooed to her shoulder.

I think the expectations are high, but as long as father's do their best the kids will be ok. We may not be a glitzy as Brad and Ange when they walk their kids to the park or the latest premiere, with our child's bottles, nappies, and dirty clothing hanging off the pram, but the pride in our kids will certainly be just as much as any other parent's.

The Hospital Tour

As mentioned before, we have been paying exorbitant amounts of money to HCF for the past 8 years and this was the sole reason we decided to have our baby at a private hospital. Besides the obligatory trip to the dentist every 6 months or so, we have never used our fund and therefore wanted to get some value from it.

I'll be writing about the full costs of having a baby (and you thought everything was covered!) later when our poll has finished. If you have not yet voted you are more than welcome to by clicking on the poll on the left side of this page. Today however I'll recount an episode that occurred when we went for our first hospital visit a few months ago.

Going on a hospital tour is vital for anyone having a baby. If your hospital offers one, do it - it will put your mind at ease and you get to see where everything is, including where you can hide when it starts getting hectic in the delivery ward! Just kidding. Tours are great. They put your mind at ease and you get the general layout of the place.

Our group tour included two other couples who were at similar stages in their pregnancies. We first visited the delivery room. A lovely set-up complete with spa bath. "Just what I would need amongst the stressful atmosphere of baby delivery" (said in jest)..."It's for the mum," I was told sternly by the matron. We then moved on to the rooms and they looked very comfortable. Then again you'd want them to be if you just squeezed a watermelon out of your genitalia! We then moved on to the nursery (I'm sure there is a more accurate name for it than this) where all the new borns are all lined up. All the women in the group cooed at the cuties on display. Connected to the nursery is the room where the nurses put you through your daddy and mummy training after the birth with tips and tricks for cleaning stinky bums etc etc.

Finally the guide showed us the section of the ward which catered for premature babies and babies requiring a bit of help after delivery. The bloke next to me and I went to have a squiz and while doing so, the guide mentioned that it was an extra $1000 if a newborn required these facilities. "Whoa" we said, "$1000, hopefully we won't be needing this room," I added. The guide then corrected us: "No, not $1000 all up, $1000 per day!" This bloke and I lost some colour from our faces and we were both thankfull we were in a hospital in case we needed some oxygen. Luckily the guide quickly noted that this expense is covered by your private health fund, but that you had to make sure you had family cover. We both looked at each other said that this was the first phone call we would make upon leaving the tour.

If you are expecting a child and are in a private health fund, check that you have family cover, as any new borns won't be covered if you only have individual or couple cover. Thankfully we did, and hopefully we won't be requiring the services of the '$1000 dollars a day room'.

----
Also, Congrats to our good friends Al and Josie on the first public appearance of their son Leon over the weekend. Baby, mum and dad all doing well. I might get Al to write up a guest report. Congrats again guys!